Psalm 121 – katyandtheword

Speed Bumps–A Prayer

OK God,

Do I complain about this speed bump now?
The Covid standing in the way of surgery?

I’m taking a deep breath–of gratitude for quadruple vaccinations
And so few symptoms that I did not know

And thankfulness for masks

and frantic prayers that I didn’t infect anyone–and really that I didn’t infect anyone vulnerable.

And for a Day of Work that somehow came together in Coverage
really its a miracle, so easy that I feel guilty about how easy it was
I know you gotta be laughing at that one God
How easily we humans feel guilty, right?
(But I planned to be there and had been excited to see all the people and miss them)

But really, I long for deep healing
The rest and restoration that I could almost taste

The baby-sitting, rides, meals, work, set-ups, coverage, therapy, bracing

I really do not want a drop of it to go to waste, and the idea of setting it all up again is
Daunting
Wearying
Soul-wrenching

So I pray that you have this figured out already
Just like the Church Government meeting I obviously could not go to this week–what with the surgery and/or covid (that I thought I wanted to sign up for)

And so many other things as they go past that I thought, oh I thought I wanted to sign up for that, but I’m glad I didn’t because I realize now that I did not really have the time for that.

Ok God,

What now?

The wait for Monday is a Lot–
And this feels more like a speed bump to healing
It feels like a mountain, or a quest

I lift my eyes to the hills
the annoying, freaking have to climb them hills
From whom will my help come?

Fine it will come from the Lord my God…

But I don’t have to like it today.

Here’s hoping for surgery on the other end.

Amen.

Feel free to use/share/adapt with Credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

Sept 26: Jacob’s Dream

Living Into this God Given World: Dreams and Blessings

Genesis 27:1-4, 15-23; 28:10-17

John 1:50-51

Psalm 121

Call to Worship:

God of unlikely blessings, be with us today

Help us as we journey, give us what we need

God of dreams, go where we go

Let us journey with God today.

Confession: God, we confess that sometimes our blessings and dreams confound and confuse us, like Jacob. At times we are uncertain what it is God wants us to do next. Help us on journey. When our steps falter, be with us. When the future is uncertain, comfort us. When the world is overwhelming, help us to rest. When we realize we are imperfect, equip us. Remind us that you are our God no matter what, and help us along the way we pray, Amen.

Prayer of Confession: God, I confess that sometimes, I am like Jacob. Sometimes, I am not even asking for help, and yet you are there. Present with dreams and blessings that I did not know I needed. Please continue to give me what I need I pray. Amen.

Assurance of Pardon: Be assured, your help will always come from the Lord. Know the truth, In Jesus Christ we are forgiven.

Prayer of the Day/Dedication: God you are mighty in your mercy. You do not need to be tricked into blessings, for they are abundant. Let us go into the world assured of your blessings. Amen.

Children: Talk about how Jacob thought he was tricking a blessing out of his father, but actually God gave bonus blessings to Jacob and that was the real trick. Perhaps use the illustration of an overflowing cup as to how blessings work. God fills our cup til overflowing and then it is our job to use our cup to fill other people’s cups

Hymns: There is a Wideness to God’s Mercy, Take My Life, O Jesus I Have Promised, Guide My O Thou Great Jehovah

Some Writing on Jacob being a Heel

More Narrative Lectionary Year 4

If you find these resources useful please consider contributing to my Doctorate in Ministry in Creative Writing! I have already Successfully funded year 1, and am now working on Year 2!

Grief

Dearest God,

Who loved us into being. I have the sad today. It is lingering on all the things I touch. As I wake my kids up, I miss putting them on the schoolbus and the few moments breath between home and work as I travel in.

I miss stopping for tea-coffee for some- as a pick me up.

I miss seeing my friends.

I miss alone time, truly alone, with no one in the house.

I also miss hugging others. How can I miss both at the same time? Only you know Lord.

I miss funerals.

I miss all the kids I’ll see grow: at church, nursery school, elementary school, at the college, and ALL the babies at playgroup!

Jesus who missed sitting by Lazarus when he died, who wept openly when his mother had to leave him to die alone.

I miss not having to wear an itchy mask that fogs up my glasses every time I go out.

I miss touching my face.

I miss not worrying if every small business, theater and church is going to be open next year.

I miss the therapies for my kids. I miss anyone taking over for the kids for an hour or two, I miss babysitting.

I miss talking on the phone for fun. I miss real meetings (Who thought I’d say that?)

I miss sitting in church, and singing and praying together.

I miss my sister coming out for Easter. She already missed last year, to miss two in a year feels a cruel trick.

Jesus what did you miss those three days in the tomb? The friends, the family, the touch. Did you miss the purposeful meaning-making of work? Did you miss your favorite food? Did you miss the beautiful lakes you frequented? Did you have a plan you had to cancel the morning of the last supper, when you realized the arrest was coming that very day? Did you miss a child’s first step or word? A niece or a nephew you had been waiting on?

I wonder if Jesus misses the very crowds that annoyed him now that he has ascended into heaven?

Grief is the slow journey of realization: That my middle child will never go back to elementary school he will suddenly move to fifth grader, my eldest will never be Peter Pan in Shrek, that my youngest will never get to see his brand new friends–who he just made this year–in school until after summer.

I’m grieving the small overnight trips I was going to make: for business and to see friends, I love traveling.

I’m grieving all the misses and the can’ts: the events, the peoples, the milestones, the simple moments.

I’m grieving not being able to go to the library and pick out a free book, pick up an art supply or even my favorite pasta from the grocery store (shell noodles).

It’s all, every single bit of it, real.

There is no piece of grief too small for Christ. Each one appears in my path, threatening to derail my journey–whether it’s a mountain in the way or a pebble in my shoe.

Lord, help me journey through my crumbs and mountains of grief I pray.

I lift my eyes to the hills of my grief, from whom shall my help come?

My help comes from the Lord, my God.

Help me I pray.

Amen.

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