Covid19 – katyandtheword

Aftershocks

They always say
that the cleanup takes the longest
that’s actually the Presbyterians specialty

Long after the Salvation Army has left
We Presbyterians are there,
Sometimes so long, that we greet the next disaster

Someday that comfort, me, and other its depresses me.

Why are so many people dying?
The prayer group asks?
As we sit on the zoom screens

A beautiful remnant of Covid
a learned way to gather with one another–
A way the we have been finally dragged into the 2st centuary

And I look at the calendar, and realize
Yes, this is the trauma-ersary,
Three years ago, we had the last normal week of our lives

Just like 9/11 2001, my entire childhood was defined one way
And then boom. Explosion
My entire adulthood
Every
Single
Thing
Changed

Forever

Back to why so many people are dying
“We are still in the aftershocks of Covid, I think” I say..slowly
“You know, like after an earthquake, and this was a worldwide event
Its not as noticeable as an earthquake, but here we are,
Still experiencing the massive aftereffects of trauma, from a pandemic”

I’m no scientist, but I know it is true
Plus I’ve seen the actual science
I know we are tired, worn, and more ready to let go
We are still in the waves, where longterm care is needed

The problem being, its needed pretty much everywhere
By everywhere,
And we humans are not so good at that

Be gentle with yourselves this moth
Be gentle with yourself this March,
When you feel overwhelmed, remember

We are all Traumatized

If you or your family feel sick or trapped, or stuck at home
(especially if you have days at home in storms or God forbid Zoom Days)
Try to give yourself space to heal or Be

Practice Self-Care
(which is not bubble baths or shopping)

Find ways to Breathe, space to be fully yourself and safe
And ways to provide yourself with long term health and care

Screw this Trauma-versary
May we all find Space within it

Feel free to use/share/adapt with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

Image is “A year ago crossed out, two years ago crossed out, three years, this was our last normal year and nobody knew it” tweeted by Santiago mayer” dated 3/3/21

Selah! Praying for Babies & Vaccines

Praying

for all the babies

to be vaccinated

ASAP,

and praying

for all the parents

(and grandparents and beloveds)

of those babies

who have been waiting

half past forever

to exhale

they know

what Selah means

Selah God

Selah!*

Amen.

*Selah is some kind of exclamatory sigh thing in the Bible that we don’t really know how to translate

Feel free to use/share/adapt/sigh/scream abundantly with some kind of credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

Trauma Prayer

Here is a prayer for the survivors, who were left by those who got sick and died.

A prayer for the workers who were deemed essential–and never got a break from the work, the breath, the spit, the talk, the-show-up-to-get-your-paycheck.

It’s a plea for those who were “let go” told that they weren’t important enough to keep getting paid.

It’s a recycled prayer for the homeless and the hungry, who are the same as ever, only worse.

A tattered prayer for the war-torn and the refugees, in a world where peace remains only a dream.

A love note for the queer fam, whose barriers only increase when people become stressed.

Here’s a prayer for the black and brown people the Native Americans, the Asians, the Immigrants…the ignored, habitually mistreated and forgotten. The “inaccessible” for healthcare, the ones who always have to sit on the bottom, except for deaths in the pandemic where they ride high.

Here’s a chant for Black Lives Matter–words that start, but don’t do enough to create a structure for reparations.

Here’s a prayer for the abused, alone and trapped.

A prayer for the addict, who is living the days, and the nights trying to figure out treatment in tough times.

This is a cry for the lonely: the elderly, the singles, the disabled, the sick. Lord, you know there are too many ways for us to feel lonely in ordinary times. Here’s an extra cry for them.

Here’s a prayer for a moment–for all those who are caretaking or parenting, those who have had not respite and no relief, for whom the to do list has lengthened and the how to list no longer exists.

This is a prayer for the children, who know in their bones what they are missing, even when they don’t know what they are missing.

We are praying for all of the world together–because this is our traumaversary–a moment when we look at the world that has ended, and has not yet a world to look towards.

We have to relive the trauma of the loss, and we still haven’t learned how to Cope with it Lord.

This is a prayer for me Lord,

Because I’m tired and lonely, and I don’t even know if I’m hungry or bored or just dealing with depression. This is a prayer for my family, because “okay” is all we can go for right now.

This is a prayer for the traumatized. Help us, we pray, Save us, we pray.

Amen.

Feel free to share/use/adapt with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

Trauma Anniversary Info: https://www.mentalhelp.net/ptsd/anniversary-reactions-to-a-traumatic-event/

Pandemic Prayers & Resources

I am so angry

I am so angry, she said, and I admit I was surprised to hear the echo of her words in my heart God.

Of course, I know I’m angry God, we all are. Haven’t I been giving permission for people to scream psalms and then wrote out my own about the catastrophe that lead up to and was 2020? But I was still surprised…because I am SO angry, God.

I’m angry God, with little places to process it, and very small chances to even be grumpy (though I am, of course grumpier like most people).

I’m angry that people keep making poor decisions, I’m angry that I don’t know how long I have to stay in survival mode.

I’m angry that my child who has autism works so hard to remain masked when so many capable adults believe rumors and lies and continue to ignore the need to do what is needed to stay safe.

I am angry that we are so, so lonely, while others go out and party.

I’m angry that my family’s mental health is precarious at best, and I’m angry that the priorities of the government and individuals seem to be power and money over safety, and self-righteousness over loving our neighbor.

And I’m angry that my family cannot perfectly keep others safe because there are too many factors and not enough cooperation for us to be able to tell when and how all of this will end.

I am angry that more and more people are getting sick or dying, and all the socioeconomic things–Too many to name even….

I want to be angry God, because it’s a true reaction to what is going on.

Is this how Jesus felt when Samaria refused to welcome him when he finally decided to journey to Jerusalem? Did he have to get over it to tell the parable of the Good Samaritan?

Or did you tell the story to yourself Jesus? Did you tell it to remind yourself not to always be angry?

God, there is nowhere to put this anger. If I put it on mine enemies, and wish them harm or illness, I–in truth–only hurt myself.

And there’s no real way to process it, yet.

Except sometimes I watch a show or I read a book and I cry.

God help us, help me, with this trauma. This mix of delayed mourning, longstanding loneliness and more anger than I realized.

Help us say the prayers, scream the screams, write the psalms and to create the rituals we need in this time of trauma. Help us to create small oases of sanctuaries to process. the hardship we are going through.

I’m tired of being angry God. Please help me in whatever way you can.

Send your Holy Spirit to comfort and renew me, I pray.

Amen.

Feel free to use/share/adapt with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

For more Pandemic Prayers here

Exponential Growth Selah!

God, I’ve heard on the radio that it’s hard for us to grasp exponential growth.

That the concept that a 2×2 foot closet can become the size of a country a week is hard for our meager human brains to grasp.

And here we are, face to face with a disease that has exponential Growth. And God as the numbers stare us in the face.

Remind us that our actions are exponential. Please God, help our, you know we are only human, brains to process.

Selah!

For we know we cannot take in the magnitude of the grains of sand in the world, of the variety of species and genders and loves and in the mulitude of stars and planets in the universe.

This is why it is so hard to understand your exponential grace God, for it is beyond counting!

God I admit, I have trouble even grasping what a million of something means.

Help us process the growth of this illness, help us to have eyes to see and ears to hear, and bolster our hearts for we are Covid-weary and slipping into habits that are not safe.

Remind us that just as COVID19 multiplies, every single act we take for safety also is multiplied. That when we was our hands, or wear a mask or decline an invite or meet outside we are protecting millions of people.

Multiply our intentions to care for one another we pray. Make them twofold, fourfold, twelvefold, a hundredfold, for you know we need the support!

Increase our fortitude so that it burns on even when we feel like we are completely out of oil.

Bolster our socialization, so that a little bit on zoom or through car windows or across a field, might be nourishing enough for us to make it through winter.

Increase all of the good in the world God, so that the evil that is this virus can be defeated, I pray, and as I pray increase my prayer so it is your prayer, and your neighbor’s prayers, and let it become the prayer of the world. Extend this prayer, so that as we see Coronavirus surge, our mutual uplifting will flood as well.

Remind us that many waters of Covid19 cannot quench our love, neither can coronavirus flooding the very hospitals that heal us, even then Love cannot be drowned out.

Intensify our love for one another, especially in the midst of this crises we pray to you Oh God.

We pray all of this in Christ’s name, and in the abundance of the Holy Spirit, Lord hear our prayer. Amen.

Permission to Use/Adapt with Credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

Read about my journey towards a doctorate in ministry in creative writing and give a small donation towards my tuition! About Me: My Story & My Writing

More Pandemic Prayers and Mundane Prayer to Survive the Day to Day

Communion Tastes Different Now

God, I have had many times when I realized I didn’t really know anything.

All the things I knew how to do have changed.

From going for a walk to grocery shopping.

And, so, Communion tastes different.

Do we even know how the economy works? I doubt anyone knows anymore.

Money and power become nonsensical, time itself has changed.

When I see two or three year olds wear a mask, without blinking, for three hours of nursery school.

I realize that they are the only ones who will know how the world works right now. Because they are growing into it.

Meanwhile ancient schemes are being broken

And the Holy Spirit is here, whispering new words on the wind.

And because I have changed, and I’m a part of communion, communion tastes differently now. The kingdom tastes different.

Because everything is being made new.

The whole world is indeed laboring in birth, and I am praying that somehow, all things are working together for good.

The thing about labor is, you don’t know what you’re doing

Parts of you die and parts of your body make room for the new thing, and parts of your body are never the same again.

It’s messy and bloody and it hurts like hell.

And when you are handed the child, whew.

You really realize that you really don’t know anything.

Mothering, swaddling God, tell us it’s ok if communion tastes different, it’s still communion.

Lord, teach us how to handle this new reality that is being birthed, I pray.

Amen.

Feel free to use/adapt credit Pastor Katy Stenta

Here is the Link for Pandemic Prayers and Resources: Top Posts are “In an Abundance of Caution” “The Lord is My Shepherd: What kind of Sheep are You” and “Masks: A Prayer”

The Moment for a Psalm

I used to know how things worked, but I don’t anymore.

I guess, this is the moment you write a psalm.

A prayer that cries out to God, for all the injustices in the world.

The missed vacations, friends and fun.

The skipped memories, rituals and milestones.

My God, why does life work this way? Why can I look at a cheaper mortgage when others can’t pay the rent?

How is it I’m in the position of privilege, when we almost didn’t make it out of the last recession?

Lord I used to know how things went, we worked, the kids went to school, we tried to find time for socialization.

Now I discover the hidden histories that were in plain sight all along. I finally understand the racism that I’ve been trying to see for the last ten years.

Suddenly I’m understanding the economics of pastoral care and relationship.

Lord I am surrounded by fear and illness. My enemies spread discord and lies, and care nothing for the vulnerable.

I guess I’m writing this psalm, because psalms don’t resolve anything.

They just affirm that our God is the one who cares for every single person, our God does not even let a sparrow or a sparrow’s feather to drop without God’s knowledge.

They reflect that God is….somewhere…. shining through the cracks–showing us opportunities to be helpers, reminding us that when we are lucky: we need to care.

So here is my Psalm God, my crying out of obscenities at the injustices of the world, and my shaking of the fist at all those with hardened hearts.

Let every person have enough to eat, give every person a mask and the opportunity to stay safe, help us to stop being stupid.

Remind us to be as consistent as we can (something humans suck at) as we try to fight this pandemic. As it rips of the bandaids that we have put over racism, inequality, poverty, education and childcare and housing, help us to see the world as it is.

God, we are wounded and bleeding. Hear our cry.

We are begging for you God, to do your work. Please love all of your children, because some days that best I can do is get out of bed, shower, call someone and not sink back into depression.

Love doesn’t make the list as often as I wish, and thankfulness is not as dominant as I’d like. Heal me, save me I pray. Heal us, save us we pray.

I used to know how things worked, but I don’t anymore. So here is my Psalm.

Lord we used to know how things worked, but we don’t anymore, so here is our Psalm

Lord in your mercy.

Hear our Prayer.

Amen

Feel free to use as needed credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

Pandemic Prayers & Resources

Decision Fatigue

Lord God Almighty, Can’t you just make the decision for me?

Image xkcd comic

In a time when every single decision seems to carry weight. Do we go to the grocery store, or do take out? Am I appropriately spaced from the person nearby? Do I go to bed or spend 5 more minutes on this moment of free time?

Reopening sucks. Are we even reopening? How much can we reopen? Should we even try when we know that it’s still not safe?

Lord, decision making is not safe right now.

Do I send my kids to some kind of camp or school? Do I accede to digital learning, should i just homeschool (please God let the answer not be that I should be homeschooling, because i just can’t)

Lord, usually we make decisions in a split second, in a culture where immediacy is the primary value–I valued the swiftness over the efficacy.

God, Lord, Jesus, Holy Ghost. How do you–with three people make any decisions.

Do you have any hints for me?

Can you just make the decision for me? No?……

Well then, help me to weigh, to quiet my voice enough to give some room for yours–

Help me to make the best decision I can in the moment, remind me that nothing has to be written in stone.

Help me to make the right risky decisions: About who to help, who to be in relationship with, how to donate & protest in all the needful ways.

Give me the strength I need face the things I have to continue to say no to…give me the support I need to carry on in the midst of it all.

and

Grant me your grace, as I make the hard decisions I pray.

And please help every single human who is making all of the decisions. Kyrie Elesion.

Send your Holy Spirit, nudge us (or shove us) in the right direction, build consensus, Soften the hard-hearted so they can hear the facts they need to make the right decisions.

In Jesus Holy Name, please hear our prayer

Amen

Stuck on Repeat

God, I do not want to play this game again. I have discovered this is the exact reason I do not, personally, find video games enjoyable. To play the same thing repeatedly until it’s beaten is disheartening.

But then I remember what I tell my children. We are not video game characters, remote controlled by God. We have free will.

And you are a God of grace, letting us try multiple times to get it right. Putting us back at the beginning of our journey–to fix the pandemic, to become antiracist, to help those in need–over and over again.

When we get stuck like a broken record (remember those?) you remind us, miraculously, that we can move the needle.

The end to this pandemic is compassion.

In a time when love looks like giving masks to one another. In a time when money can be collected for rent. In a time when thousands suddenly have the time and emotional energy to march for Black Lives Matter. In a time when we can look at our budgets and see where our health and school funds lay in the priorities, you remind us; we are empowered to change things–together.

Lord, walk with me, walk with us. When we stumble and trip help us to have compassion for one another. Let masks flow like floods. When teachers and parents come together to make tough decisions; let our love overpower any stinginess.

When we are stuck in groundhog day, teach us that living our your compassion is more important than ever.

Help us to defeat the challenges, and to remember that we are playing on the team. And when we feel overwhelmed, help us to rest, to cry and then to get back up and do it all again.

Hold these prayers in the palm of your hand we pray.

Amen.

****
Feel free to use or adapt with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

Pandemic Prayers & Resources

Safety Guidelines

Basic Safety Requirements: This is not an exhaustive list and is subject to change in accordance to CDC and Governor Cuomo’s instructions

You will keep a log of every single individual who is attending and keep track of it should contact tracing need to be conducted

Practice Social Distancing of 6 feet or more

Wear a face covering the nose & mouth when within the building: except children younger than 2

Practice frequent hand washing and hand sanitizing

If seated, keep tables 6ft apart and cluster households

Bathrooms: Wear your mask in the bathroom & only have one person (or one household) within a bathroom at a time. Bathrooms will now be genderless.

Practice Ventilation: Keep Doors and Windows open as much as possible

Do not pass any items: Pre-lay items or have them dropped in a stationary object

If food is offered consider prepackaged, avoid buffets or family-style meals

If someone from your gathering tests Positive for COVID19 within 2 weeks, let the church office know

You hold liability of fines, etc. for any and/all people not following guidelines

Any individuals who are ill or sick should not attend, consider taking temperatures upon entry

Consider carefully about using Air Conditioner as it is tied to increased risk

Recommendation against singing of any kind, unless you are having a drive in gathering

You are required hand sanitizer in your space & have cleaning supplies on hand to clean chairs & tables after use

You are recommended to have a safety plan

You are recommended to check in with your insurance about any considerations for reopening

You are responsible to follow regulations and guidelines laid out by the CDC at cdc.gov

Drive In Safety Guidelines

No bathrooms are available during the drive-in

Cars will park every other space

Leadership will keep 6+ feet apart, and will wear masks & Gloves if approaching any car.

You will keep a log of every single individual who is attending and keep track of it should contact tracing need to be conducted

Hand Sanitizer will be available for leadership

Events will close by 8pm

Noise will not be too loud for the neighborhood

You are responsible for any violations/tickets/citations by any member of your group

Those in cars will wear masks when approached by leadership

If sitting in lawn chairs, people will wear masks at all time

You are responsible to follow regulations and guidelines laid out by the CDC at cdc.gov

If someone from your gathering tests Positive for COVID19 within 2 weeks, let the church office know

Hold Harmless: Lessee covenants at all times save the lessor harmless from all loss, cost or damages which may occur or be claimed with respect to any person or persons, corporations, property or chattels in or about the premises or to the property itself, resulting from any act done or mission by or through the lessee or resulting from the lessee’s use, non-use, or possession of or conduct of it’s business in or about the premises, together with any and all loss, cost, liability or expense resulting therefrom.”