You are my hiding place
You surround my soul with cries of deliverance!
Tag: God
This year I will……
This year I will talk to dragons, I will spend the time I need to with fairies and fight off the bad guys with a sword.
I will flirt outrageously
I will laugh more than ever
I will be sure to build as many towers as I knock down, and remember that journeying to the castle is just as important as defeating the bad guy
I will improve my tea drinking ritual–because its more fun the more you do it
I will remember to sing loudly in the car, try new upsidedown and balancing thingies in yoga and throw more snowballs
I will wiggle more in my seat, draw more doodles and as a result become wiser than ever
I will pick the flowers
I will get my hopes too high on a regular basis, expect all people I know to be brave & wise & good no matter what I might (or might not already) know about them and catch up on Dr. Who
I will exclaim over every baby that they are each the most beautiful baby in the universe—because every single one is, and spoil my cats while contemplating with my husband the fact that we’ve acquired a creature (baby or kitten) every year that we have been married.
I will make it my mission to make my job be more and more about people (and less about paperwork)
I will declare random vacations to go out and play in the sun
I will do silly things I’m not good at, I will play strategy games, draw, play music, etc. because those are the things I love
I will do something meaningful to support trans*/bi community
I will watch as many Disney movies as possible and get my haircut when I feel like it
I will remember never to eat the food in fairyland
I will let my kids be messy, allow them to have fun, and teach them to love people
I will play more practical jokes on my husband
I will enjoy God’s sense of humor!
I will get lost and have fun while I’m doing it
I will read many, many library books
I will chase rainbows…and sunsets….
I will go on as many adventures as I can cram in…
I will walk to nowhere
I will tell the stories that give my life meaning, and repeat them over and over again until they are true
I will be Katy 🙂
My Santa Hat
My Santa Hat is older than my children.
I got it the first year of college at Oberlin.
At that time, I realized three things
1. I missed my family and church (the churches were CRAZY as a result of 9/11 and I couldn’t find a good one)
2. I wouldn’t be able to do much preparing for Christmas
3. People hated to be wished “Merry Christmas” something about the White Christian hegemony in a very liberal arts school.
Plus I had my first round of finals coming up (yikes!)
so I went to CVS and bought this really nice $5 Santa hat, it is a dark red with a clothlike white trim

I have worn it since that Dec 2001, ….and (amazingly) I haven’t lost it…
I wear it to celebrate Christmas
I wear it to celebrate Advent, to bring Christmas into conversations is a “safe space”
Every Thanksgiving I get it out, and start to celebrate.
Sometimes I think that God works less like a thunderous mountain of justice…and way more like my Santa hat.
Why do we have these buildings for God?
Solomon built a temple, because he knew he couldn’t contain God.
Ironic as it is….
The Temple is empty, except for the 10 commandments, so that all the priest, and elders and leaders and everyone important can come into the temple for its dedication.
And the moment they call on God (we would call this the Prayer of Illumination) God’s Cloud fills the entire temple
And when the priests came out of the Holy Place,a cloud filled the house of the Lord, 11 so that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud, for the glory of the Lord filled the house of the Lord. 1 Kings 8:10-11
God is all that is in the temple! The temple wasn’t big enough to hold God, yet God filled it! That’s why it wasn’t about limiting God, but noticing how infinite God is.
This is (one) story of how God came to dwell on Earth.
Another is Jesus
Another is Communion
Another is baptism
Another is us–the people, the body of Christ, Christ’s promise that whenever we gather in his name, he’ll be present.
With Christ, God was invited to be present in church, but not just in the building but in our very relationships.
Faith
Faith is work, its communal, its varied, it contains all our varied beliefs and doubts.
Belief is us reaching towards God
Faith is God reaching towards us
In order to have faith, you must have community. Its different than asceticism or belief, it is more than the individual spirituality.
Spirituality is how we practice our beliefs.
Faith is RELATIONAL, its about our relationship with God and therefore is about our relationship with each other.
Our relationships with one another help us to understand God- hence God gives us Faith.
Have Faith!
Queer Creation: A synchroblog!!!

May thanks to my AMAZING sister who wrote this essay in response to my questions!!!!
What is your favorite series to read? How does it relate to your real life experience? Does it help to inform who you are/want to be?

Well any week that you ask me this I’m likely to have a different answer, but right now I’d say I’m really fond of the quartets that Tamora Pierce has written. There’s a lot in there about strength in yourself and through friends, and showing strength in different ways. Alanna is fiery and forward, Keladry is more reserved and protective. Daine is compassionate and driven, Aly is resourceful and wily. But in the end, they each have some strength that pushes them forward and towards great heights. I identify with each of these women, in part for their strength and in part for how hard they fight. I’ve faced my own challenges, and I have learned to never stop and don’t accept defeat.
What can I say, my sister has great taste in books..what is interesting about all of Pierce is that all of her characters “Come Out” Alanna as a girl (can’t imagine how my sister relates), Daine as a wild Mage and Aly as a spy…Their coming out is natural, it is a growing into themselves and their strength, and what I appreciate about my sister’s answer’s is that its these gifts and strengths that are highlighted, the fact that they are women to look up to….that and HOPE and PERSEVERANCE which are traits that I find to be essential and what should be what we love about the Bible as much as fantasy and PS is why I read fantasy….
As Joss Whedon notes, this shouldn’t be noteworthy (Query: why do you write strong heroines? Whedon: because you keep asking me that), but it is! (PS Favorite book is a totally cheating question, one I can never answer, can I pick a favorite star in the sky?)
The story God gives us is that we are both female and male in God’s image. Do you experience yourself as being in God’s image? (I like to think that transsexual’s have a more (w)holistic sense of what God’s image is)
So there’s this weird conflict here where, on the one hand, God must be both genders- and some representations of the Holy Ghost/Spirit interpret that as female. But I can’t view God that way- because there’s distinctly more than two genders. If the purpose of the question is to establish that God shares their gender with everyone, I think of it like this. Jesus was pretty clearly male- to the best of our knowledge, he’s the son and had no issues with his body in that way. (Which is an entirely different conversation one could have, but that’s not the point here.) So if the physical manifestation was male, then to me the logical next step is that the part we cannot grasp or understand is, as the physical manifestation’s natural opposite, female and comfortable with that. Well then, what is God, both? No. God can’t be both. God must be all. Male, Female, Trans* Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Bi-Gender, Agender, Third Gender (I can’t possibly list all of them…) They must be all of them and thensome. Part of what makes me uncomfortable in most churches is the interpretation of God as Father, Christ as Son and ignore the Holy Spirit completely. What, you mean it should all be male? God and Christ don’t understand women, and have nothing to share with them? Because sometimes that’s what it feels like. And the more a church focuses on Christ as son and redeemer, the less attached I feel to the words they’re speaking, because they’re only speaking from one viewpoint and ignoring the rest.
I will try not to rant here, but there are all kinds of mistranslations of the Bible that slant God towards masculine, when God isn’t. The word for Holy Spirit (Ruach) in Hebrew is a feminine word. The word Almighty in Hebrew means the God of many mounds (i.e. BREASTS to feed all of her children) etc. etc. This is a problem most females have with Christianity, that my sister has a VERY perceptive and unique focus on. God MUST BE ALL (which I bolded above), God is all, and its too much for us to understand so we compartmentalize so our little brains can handle it, but really, God must be all! PS I have always been a Kinsey 1-6 scale advocate, where completely straight is 0, completely bi is 6 and most people are 1-5…not a gendering issue, but still brings in the issues of God, Sexuality, Gender and Sex. Hey if we can’t talk about our embodied experience, why the heck are we even worrying about religion, am i right?

My son drew God, because he wanted to know what God looked like, he said that God is both a boy and a girl and not a boy in a girl and….”I think God is very big, because God takes care of everybody, and I think God is a rainbow, because God likes all colors. See these dots? These are all the people, they are all different kinds too…” ..and a child shall lead them, anyone, anyone?
How important was naming yourself as female? How did the naming effect the embodiment? Or how did the embodiment effect the naming? Was there an order to it, or did all come together?
Okay, there’s a lot of questions to this question and I just have to address them one at a time.
Hehehehe, I told my sister I wrote only 4 questions, but of course I cheated, layering question upon question, luckily my sister is brilliant (really brilliant she is the smartest one by far in my family) and she was able to pull apart my meaning…good thing she has practice, being related to me and all.
Naming myself as female changed my whole world. It was about comfort and knowledge as much as anything else. I collect stories, including those I experience, and there was always something wrong with the story of me as a male. It would be like reading Harry Potter but instead of the proper ending Voldemort kills all the muggles and takes over the world. It’s still a pretty good story, but it’s not right. It’s not the way that the story should go, and we know that somewhere in us. In a similar way, being male wasn’t ruining my life. It just wasn’t right, and somewhere within me knew that. So the naming and identifying put me back to the right story, and changed…well, everything to some extent. As for the naming/embodiment dynamic, I’d say it was (and still is) a pretty consistent back and forth. I’d look at my past- realize that I’d been skipping around in skirts at age 8 and pinning down my arm movements since age 10- and see how I’d been living it my whole life. Then I’d start doing something and the driving feeling would be “screw it, I feel like doing x-y-z because that’s what my gender says is comfortable, so I will.” In the past, I was still learning what made me comfortable and my physical actions in the past helped guide that. As I look more toward the future, and being a woman is an unshakeable part of my identity, I’d say the balance is more towards the naming- I chose this title and this gender and this life (well, I chose to act on it, anyway) So I might as well embrace the parts of it I like.
YAY! I love how the “naming” piece of my sister’s identity has brought her more into SELF….I can’t add to this
What questions and wonderings do you have about God or the human existence that are informed by your being/experience/embodiment on earth?
I have a very important, unanswerable question that involves only one word. Why? Why put people through rigors and trials? Why challenge people in ways that they sometimes cannot handle, or cannot handle at the time? Why love, why hate, why trust, why lie? In short, my question out of all of my gender and sexuality struggles, out of dysphoria, out of watching my friends and my family is the most basic and most complex question of all. Why do it? Why was I born into the wrong body? What did I need to learn or understand? What did I gain? What did I lose? Was it worth the cost? I have no answers. I’m left with just the resounding question, sounding a bit like a petulant five year old. Why?

Shepherd: What are we up to, sweetheart?
River: Fixing your Bible.
Shepherd: I, um.. what?
River: Bible’s broken. Contradictions, false logistics.. doesn’t make sense.
Shepherd: No, no, you can’t..
River: So we’ll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God’s creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels
already there. Eleven, important number, prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times but always comes out one.
River: Noah’s Ark is a problem.
Shepherd: Really?
River: We’ll have to call it “early quantum state phenomenon”. Only way to fit 5,000 species of mammal on the same boat.
Shepherd: Give me that. River, you don’t… fix the Bible.
River: It’s broken! It doesn’t make sense.
Shepherd: It’s not about making sense, it’s about believing in something and letting that belief be real enough to change your life.
It’s about faith. You don’t fix faith, River, it fixes you.
See we are related! We love tough questions….My sister has a great quest ahead of her. Of course, I don’t have an answer…its just too good a question.
Here’s what I think, I know its not all bubbles and sunshine (though I wish that were the case–to see a bubbles and sunshine version of events read here). But I am honored to witness to it, I hope that I am deepened by it, and I am SO proud of her! I think she is an amazing, strong, brave and resilient person who NEVER GIVES UP already, and she’s 10 years younger than me. I can’t wait to see what she does next!
Read the Other Queer Synchoblog Posts!
Queering Our Reading of the Bible by Dwight Welch
Queer Creation in art: Who says God didn’t create Adam and Steve? by Kittrdge Cherry
Of The Creation of Identity (Also the Creation of Religion) by Colin & Terri
God, the Garden, & Gays: Homosexuality in Genesis by Brian G. Murphy, for Queer Theology
Created Queerly–Living My Truth by Casey O’Leary
Creating Theology by Fr. Shannon Kearns
Initiation by Blessed Harlot
B’reishit: The Divine Act of Self-Creation by Emily Aviva Kapor
Queer Creation: Queering the Image of God by Alan Hooker
Queer Creation by Ric Stott
Eunuch-Inclusive Esther–Queer Theology 101 by Peterson Toscano
Valley of Dry Bones by Jane Brazelle
Queer Creation: Queer Angel by Tony Street
The Great Welcoming by Anna Spencer
Queer Creation by Billy Flood
The Mystery of an Outlandishly Queer Creation by Susan Cottrell
We’ve Been Here All Along by Brian Gerald Murphy
God Hirself: A Theology by T. Thorn Coyle
The Objectification of God by Marg Herder
Coming Out As Embodiments of God Herself by Virginia Ramey Mollenkott
An Interview by Katy
On Creation and Belonging by Andrew Watson
Creation by Liam Haakon Smith
Practically Creating Practical Queer Theology by Talia Johnson
Inspired Possibility: Opening the Gift of the Queer Soul by Keisha McKenzie
Oh What A Difference A Pope Makes! by Hilary Howes
I’m Really Angry by John Smid
Focus on the (Chosen) Family by Brian Cubbage
The Goddex by Thorin Sorensen
Robin McKinley: Adventures in Street Pastoring
Robin McKinley: Adventures in Street Pastoring
“Whose idea was this frelling Street Pastors deal? Oh. Yeah. God’s. I guess I have to put up with it then.”
To me Church is…
To me Church is like a Wedding, a Memorial and a Grand Opening, it’s like a party,
like a neighbor welcoming you in for cookies (fresh baked) and like a playground for children. It should feel like a space that can be sacred and quiet and joyful noise-y.
Church should feel like there is no “right” way to behave, just respect, love and mutual upbuilding. It should feel like a place to ask questions, to stumble and fall (figuratively and literally). It should feel active, alive and full of stories. It should feel imperfect and incomplete (because we all are), it should be rich in tradition yet lacking in all stuffiness. To me church’s should feel more like AA, College Ministries and
Children’s Museums. It should feel like birthdays and Christmases, Yoga and Meditation, Gardens and Sunsets. It should be full of music and laughter, whispers and wahoos, hugs and kisses. Every single door of the church should be wide open, it should be advertised on craigslist and facebook, there should be huge signs welcoming everyone thru the door, and it should be as easy for crawling babies to find a comfortable spot as those in wheelchairs or who have to pace constantly.
It should be a place to find surrogate grandparents, helpful aunts and uncles and annoying brothers and sisters….It should be a place where interruptions are welcome, surprises are a good thing and change is associated with growth! Church should be Home; at least that’s what it is for me.
I think we’ve m…
I think we’ve made a mistake,” he says softly. “We’ve all started to put down the virtues of the other factions in the process of bolstering our own. I don’t want to do that. I want to brave, and selfless, and smart, and kind, and honest.” p. 405
p. 405 Divergent by Veronica Roth
My family, when its hard to do something, says “If I’m wise and brave and kind..I will” I think the Hedges-Goettl translation for this is If I’m able to be heroic
Heroes are a weird breed, ones who are able to balance a great number of traits and ACT on what they think is right, even after they have made mistakes.
Puts the whole “being Christian” thing in a new perspective…what if “Being Christian” meant being a hero…that tend to be my interpretation 🙂
Is the Holy Spirit Spiral Shaped?
Holy Spirit, breathe into us your light, your life, stir up hope in us. We confess that we go in circles, trying to find our own way to God, help us to ask for directions, move us on the path towards you Lord, God. Lead us into a spiral, instead of in circles! we pray this in your most Holy Name. Amen
like a neighbor welcoming you in for cookies (fresh baked) and like a playground for children. It should feel like a space that can be sacred and quiet and joyful noise-y.
