Tag: suicide

CW: Suicide, A Prayer for the Pastors

Here is a prayer for the pastors*
The ones who are quitting
the ones whose therapists ask
“Is there another line of work you can do?”

Here’s a prayer for the pastors
Who get phone calls about another piece of the building breaking…
Another pillar of the church in the hospital…
Another person threatening to leave…

Here’s a prayer for the pastor
who hears the whispers
who thought they would be backed up at the meeting
only to hear silence

Here’s the prayer for the Pastor
who draws the firm boundaries
but grinds their teeth
or gets migraines
or talks to their therapist, spiritual director and prayer partner to keep it all
together

Here’s a prayer to the pastor, who gets asked
“Are you the pastor???” on the regular
But has been serving faithfully, for many a year;
competently and well

Here’s a prayer of the pastor, who has intrusive thoughts
And suicidal ideation
Here’s a prayer for the pastor, who gets a donation for the poor
And thinks–but I am the poor

And has to figure out, which bill not to pay each month
And is striving to help their congregation
Even as they cannot meet their own needs
Because church’s cannot conceive what salary is needed to live on these days

Here’s a prayer for a pastor
who is far away from colleagues
And is lonely, and trying to preach from their scars and not their wounds
Here’s a prayer for the pastor

Who knows self care is not bubble baths and massages
But has little time, money or energy to do what needs to be done
Especially post-Covid
Here’s a prayer for the burnt out pastor

Here’s the prayer for the pastor
Banging on the governmental doors:
Civic, Denominational; Local and National
And says, “God give them ears to hear” and goes home with empty hands

Here’s a prayer for the pastor
who needs support
At every level
and cries in the shower

“My God, My God Why have you abandoned Me?”

Here is a prayer for that Pastor
I’m praying for you,
so you don’t have to

Feel free to use/adapt/share with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

*This prayer is an amalgam of all those pastors who have been overwhelmed throughout my ministry life and does not represent any one person

Death by #Suicide, Waiting for Morning

I cry  to you O Lord hear my voice.-Psalm 130:1

In the midst of two very public death by suicide, one female Kate Spade, and one male Anthony Bourdain, both of whom leave beyond tween daughter. I think of all those people who cry out, unheard. I think of the fact that I didn’t know that Kate or Anthony struggled with depression. I think how suicide rates are up 30%, I think of how much we need hope these days.

Let your ears be attentive, to the voice of my pleas

I think about that I sometimes go by Kate and my husband’s name is Anthony. I think of the times both my husband and I struggled with depression, and had to struggle just to get through the day, and how, though not suicidal, and not at the same time, we have both experienced this reality. And even though we were doing everything, seeing therapists and the like, it was so hard to get the help we needed.

And I think of the hard times, I think of when my child with autism has to stay up all night, all night, dealing with days of constipation, and how when that constipation stops, we are up and down to deal with diarrhea. Up in the middle of the night, drinking water, going to the bathroom, changing clothing, cleaning the toilet, up and down, up and down and I can barely think I am so tired. And together my son and I wait for the morning

Starry Night.jpg


6 my soul waits for the Lord
   more than those who watch for the morning,
   more than those who watch for the morning.–Psalm 130:6

I think of those long bleary hours, and I think of Anthony and Kate, who were waiting for the morning, who were stuck  in the night, and couldn’t see the morning.

And I believe, somehow, that God Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, were longing for God, I’m so sad that they died before morning came.

O Israel, hope in the Lord!
   For with the Lord there is steadfast love,
   and with him is great power to redeem.
8 It is he who will redeem Israel
   from all its injustices.–Psalm 130 7-8

If you struggle from depression, please stay with us til the morning. We will miss you if your gone. When the night feels too long or overwhelming, please reach out!

US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 1-800-273-8255 or the Crisis Test Line by texting HOME to 741741

 

Psalm 130