Death by #Suicide, Waiting for Morning

I cry  to you O Lord hear my voice.-Psalm 130:1

In the midst of two very public death by suicide, one female Kate Spade, and one male Anthony Bourdain, both of whom leave beyond tween daughter. I think of all those people who cry out, unheard. I think of the fact that I didn’t know that Kate or Anthony struggled with depression. I think how suicide rates are up 30%, I think of how much we need hope these days.

Let your ears be attentive, to the voice of my pleas

I think about that I sometimes go by Kate and my husband’s name is Anthony. I think of the times both my husband and I struggled with depression, and had to struggle just to get through the day, and how, though not suicidal, and not at the same time, we have both experienced this reality. And even though we were doing everything, seeing therapists and the like, it was so hard to get the help we needed.

And I think of the hard times, I think of when my child with autism has to stay up all night, all night, dealing with days of constipation, and how when that constipation stops, we are up and down to deal with diarrhea. Up in the middle of the night, drinking water, going to the bathroom, changing clothing, cleaning the toilet, up and down, up and down and I can barely think I am so tired. And together my son and I wait for the morning

Starry Night.jpg


6 my soul waits for the Lord
   more than those who watch for the morning,
   more than those who watch for the morning.–Psalm 130:6

I think of those long bleary hours, and I think of Anthony and Kate, who were waiting for the morning, who were stuck  in the night, and couldn’t see the morning.

And I believe, somehow, that God Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, were longing for God, I’m so sad that they died before morning came.

O Israel, hope in the Lord!
   For with the Lord there is steadfast love,
   and with him is great power to redeem.
8 It is he who will redeem Israel
   from all its injustices.–Psalm 130 7-8

If you struggle from depression, please stay with us til the morning. We will miss you if your gone. When the night feels too long or overwhelming, please reach out!

US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 1-800-273-8255 or the Crisis Test Line by texting HOME to 741741

 

Psalm 130

P(s)aul #Narrative Lectionary

Acts 9:1-19a. and Matthew 6:24

Alternative 2nd Text Psalm 42

 

Call to Worship Lord we come to you, blind to the opportunities to be your instrument Teach us to be instruments of your grace, Take the scales from our eyes oh Lord, for we want to see your beauty. Let us begin to tell to story of your Gospel, in our worship here today.

 

Prayer of Confession: Lord, we confess that at times we breathe murder on our breath. We tear one another down, we complain, we whine. We confess that we breathe out hate of people, places and things. Sweeten our breath, we pray. Allow us to breathe in the Holy Spirit: inhaling her inspiration, her hope, her courage, so that we might breathe out the Holy Spirit exhaling: creativity, aspiration and encouragement in every particular action we perform.

Assurance of Pardon: If your soul thirsts for God, the way a deer longs for the stream, Know that our God is steadfast in love, and in the darkest nights, God’s song is with you, so go forth, singing this song of the truth to one another: In Jesus Christ we are forgiven. Amen.

Prayer of Dedication: Let us do as the the Lord commands, Let us get up and go, gaining strength from our baptism for the work you have set before us today.