Before this night is over Peter, you will deny me three times,
In fact each and every one of you will deny me before the end.
Not me Lord, I would never deny you.
The absolute horror of what was going to happen could not be fathomed by the disciples. It was too a deep a hole for them to see. Death, betrayal, denial and damnation were unthinkable. After all they had faith, and they had Jesus. What else would they need?
Denial is very human. It’s how we handle some of the world, it’s one way to fend off PTSD.
What are you in denial about right now? Here, in the middle of a pandemic, what is too much for you to take in?
Remember that even the disciples had trouble processing it all. Remember that only Christ and God can hold the enormity of the tragedy that is taking place. And Jesus requested the presence of these fumbling disciples in Gethsemane to pray. And after they messed up not once, not twice, but three times, but Jesus did not send them away.
We will not be sent away, and our presence is necessary.
Give yourself the grace you need to pray, be in denial and present in whatever strange combination exists within your soul, and remember you do in good company.