Sitting on Good Friday

I wasn’t there Good Friday

But I’ve planted a garden almost every year
despite the fact, my thumb is black, and nothing will ever grow

I have sat alone in middle school, at the lunch table, at the classroom
Being told to shut up every time I’ve spoken, isolated and alone

I have left a room
only to realize later that I participated in White Supremacy–
Leaving a Person of Color to fend for themselves

And I have participated in politics that have lead to people having to leave
or find solace, because they were so hurt by what happened

I have cried Hosanna! after Massive Gun Violence And Gender Violence
So many times–with phone calls, votes and letters

Again, and again, and again

I wasn’t there on Good Friday
But I have been abandoned or done the Abandoning

Jesus, I picture you
starting your descent into hell
with the words “My God, My God, Why have you abandoned me”

I wasn’t there that Good Friday–
Almost no one was–
Yet that was the point

Patriarchy, All the bad things…seemed to be winning

I wasn’t there Good Friday,
But I have felt those pieces of Hell, the utter loneliness
the failure
I have heard the devil whispering to me

that I’m too different
that my voice doesn’t matter
that peace won’t win

that my betrayals are bigger than my good works

that THAT scene, the one on replay in my head? Everyone remembers that one about me

I don’t know how Jesus utterly cut off from Love
in Hell

But I know all humans feel that at some point;
so I know you did it Jesus

You walked into Hell…
so we wouldn’t be alone there anymore

To remind us that Nothing
no height, no death,
nor hell
can cut us off from the love of Jesus Christ

I wasn’t there Good Friday..But you were,
Un-abandoning us
Sitting with us
We can’t see you or hear you in the dark

But thanks for being there
with me when the seeds won’t grow,
at the lonesome lunch table
Or in the Aftermath

And it’s ok to sit in the dark for awhile

Feel free to adapt/share/use with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

Senator Jones in the foreground Rep Pearson in the background in a black suit—both with their fists raised after the two young, black men were expelled from Tennessee House for partying peaceful anti-gun demonstrations, the white woman senator was allowed to remain