Sitting on Good Friday

I wasn’t there Good Friday

But I’ve planted a garden almost every year
despite the fact, my thumb is black, and nothing will ever grow

I have sat alone in middle school, at the lunch table, at the classroom
Being told to shut up every time I’ve spoken, isolated and alone

I have left a room
only to realize later that I participated in White Supremacy–
Leaving a Person of Color to fend for themselves

And I have participated in politics that have lead to people having to leave
or find solace, because they were so hurt by what happened

I have cried Hosanna! after Massive Gun Violence And Gender Violence
So many times–with phone calls, votes and letters

Again, and again, and again

I wasn’t there on Good Friday
But I have been abandoned or done the Abandoning

Jesus, I picture you
starting your descent into hell
with the words “My God, My God, Why have you abandoned me”

I wasn’t there that Good Friday–
Almost no one was–
Yet that was the point

Patriarchy, All the bad things…seemed to be winning

I wasn’t there Good Friday,
But I have felt those pieces of Hell, the utter loneliness
the failure
I have heard the devil whispering to me

that I’m too different
that my voice doesn’t matter
that peace won’t win

that my betrayals are bigger than my good works

that THAT scene, the one on replay in my head? Everyone remembers that one about me

I don’t know how Jesus utterly cut off from Love
in Hell

But I know all humans feel that at some point;
so I know you did it Jesus

You walked into Hell…
so we wouldn’t be alone there anymore

To remind us that Nothing
no height, no death,
nor hell
can cut us off from the love of Jesus Christ

I wasn’t there Good Friday..But you were,
Un-abandoning us
Sitting with us
We can’t see you or hear you in the dark

But thanks for being there
with me when the seeds won’t grow,
at the lonesome lunch table
Or in the Aftermath

And it’s ok to sit in the dark for awhile

Feel free to adapt/share/use with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

Senator Jones in the foreground Rep Pearson in the background in a black suit—both with their fists raised after the two young, black men were expelled from Tennessee House for partying peaceful anti-gun demonstrations, the white woman senator was allowed to remain

Author: katyandtheword

Pastor Katy has enjoyed ministry at New Covenant since 2010, where the church has solidified its community focus. Prior to that she studied both Theology and Christian Formation at Princeton Theological Seminary. She also served as an Assistant Chaplain at Trenton Psychiatric Hospital and as the Christian Educational Coordinator at Bethany Presbyterian at Bloomfield, NJ. She is an writer and is published in Enfleshed, Sermonsuite, Presbyterian's today and Outlook. She writes prayers, liturgy, poems and public theology and is pursuing her doctorate in ministry in Creative Write and Pittsburgh Theological Seminary. She enjoys working within and connecting to the community, is known to laugh a lot during service, and tells as many stories as possible. Pastor Katy loves reading Science Fiction and Fantasy, theater, arts and crafts, music, playing with children and sunshine, and continues to try to be as (w)holistically Christian as possible. "Publisher after publisher turned down A Wrinkle in Time," L'Engle wrote, "because it deals overtly with the problem of evil, and it was too difficult for children, and was it a children's or an adult's book, anyhow?" The next year it won the prestigious John Newbery Medal. Tolkien states in the foreword to The Lord of the Rings that he disliked allegories and that the story was not one.[66] Instead he preferred what he termed "applicability", the freedom of the reader to interpret the work in the light of his or her own life and times.

One thought on “Sitting on Good Friday”

  1. Thank you SO much!
    As a pastor (in PGH), you gave me the word I needed to go through the depths and be ready to emerge into Easter!

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