nones – Page 3 – katyandtheword

I don’t know what I believe….

When I worked at the Psychiatric Hospital as a chaplain, one of the things I would do as often as possible was a Spiritual Assessment: Basically to get a feel of someone, their faith, and how it may or may not support them.

One of the questions was “Do you feel hope?”

And more than once the answer I got was, “no, not really, maybe someday I will.”

i.e. I’m hoping for hope

To me, this is the essence of the Christian question….

When a father brings his son in Mark 9 to be healed, Jesus says he can only be healed by belief, and the father says “I believe, help my unbelief”

In PCUSA we have a great deal of rules and order. We have systemized theology so that we have a complete (well complete as humans get get) picture–we put all our information about God out on the table, and we desperately try to leave nothing out. Why?

Because we don’t know everything, so we hang on tightly to those things we do know.

Two things about this

1. Church is for unbelievers: Its for those who don’t know whats going on, and the more we make church for unbelievers the more successful church will be

2. Church is for faith: Faith is not something you can hang onto–one minute you are walking on water, the next you are sinking fast. However, Church is a place to hold onto faith when you yourself don’t have any. We don’t have to believe all the time, because Jesus does. And we can both believe in Christ and not believe at the same time–>I don’t know what I believe

What an honest statement. I don’t know what I believe….

I believe in love

I believe that bad things happen in the world

I believe in discipline

I believe in human brokenness

I believe in being a good person

I believe I can’t do it alone

I believe life is a miracle, every single time

I believe in relationships

I believe in science, math and the order of the world

I believe that someone is behind the ordering of it (most of the time)

I believe that there are intangibles that are as important as tangibles

I believe there are connections that are beyond desciption

I believe that humans have a purpose

I believe in God

I believe that good and evil both exist, and there is a struggle between them

I believe that I can’t understand that struggle

and I believe that God would never leave us hanging and alone ie I believe in Christ and the Holy Spirit

I believe that God is a particular person, not a nameless entity, I believe that we have complete free will and that God controls everything

I believe in auxi morons

I believe that God is timeless, and that often we mess things up by trying to constrain God with time (time travel anyone?)

I believe that most of the time I believe all this, and I believe the the church helps me when I believe…and when I don’t….

But I believe in hope, and if you don’t have hope, I believe you should hope for it! (Isn’t that what waiting for Christ is? Hoping for Hope!)

Peter Pan and the Economy

“We will never grow up” Sometimes I think that this is the theme song for my generation. Playing the day away–putting off being settled, trying to find a foothold on which to grasp. Here we are living at home, putting off marriage and renting. .

“Today, some 29 percent of 25- to 34-year olds either never moved out of their parents’ home or say they returned home in recent years because of the economy, according to the Pew report. Among 18- to 24-year olds, that figure is even higher – 53 percent of young adults in that age group live at home”. That’s right half of the youngest adults have to live at home.

(for more read http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Society/2012/0315/Three-in-10-young-adults-live-with-parents-highest-level-since-1950s)

Personally, I know this to be true. My siblings and I have all been supported by my parents since college. Every person I know has had to live off/with their parents Luckily my family had my grandmother’s house so I was one of the few of my friends who didn’t have to move back in with the family after grad school–that’s right grad school with two kids and two cats in tow.

The Young Adult age keeps getting longer and longer. Young Adults are those who have the responsibilities of an adult but don’t yet feel settled (thanks Kenda Dean for that definition). Young Adults used to be the generation that belongs in the YA section of the library–you know those between the ages of 15 and 18 or maybe even 20. Today “young” adults are all those under age 35.

Because of the economy, us Boomerangs, or Millenials have put off marriage, housing and Children. “Nearly half say that in recent years they’ve taken a job they didn’t really want, to pay the bills. More than a third have gone back to school because of the poor economy. About a third have postponed either their plans to get married or have a child, and one in four say they have moved back in with their parents after living independently. And fewer than half of young people who are now employed say they have the education and training necessary to get ahead in their jobs”.

Maybe it isn’t “We won’t grow up” but we can’t grow up. Personnally I know that we will not be owning a house for a long time, the used bookstore we want to open has to wait, and we are lucky that we were able to have kids so soon.

So what does religion have to do with us? Can religion help those struggling with debt and self-worth as is described in http://articles.latimes.com/2012/feb/09/local/la-me-young-recession-20120209

Here a summary of the current situation. Most people consider themselves “Spiritual” but “not religious” “Katie Douglass a Phd student at Princeton, researched young adults “While they typical attendance/praying/Bible study questions continue to be dismal when it comes to young adult responses – when asked Have you become more or less religious in the last year? – and Are you interested in growing in your faith? -produces emphatic yeses.”

for the hr long interview about young spirituality see http://churchnext.tv/2012/09/12/katherine-douglass-young-adults-are-more-spiritually-aware-than-you-think/

So young people are looking for meaning, they are looking for purpose, but the connection has not been happening. Apparently most young people find anything relevant to them in the sermon. There is nothing. According to research done by Stephen Cady, young people do not find anything spiritual or connectional about a sermon (http://churchnext.tv/2012/08/20/stephen-cady-why-100-of-young-people-dread-the-sermon/)

If young people who are in high school find little meaning in worship, I expect the same is true of this generation of boomerang/millenial/Peter Pans. Plus, if we are feeling rootless and unfulfilled a rooted congregation might feel overwhelming, or apathetic about a generation that can’t be around for the long haul, can’t attend church every Sunday, and can’t commit the way other generations might have.

Here is a generation that was told “work hard and go to school and you will succeed” and here we are: Not Succeeding. Understanding that this must be somehow our fault. How might faith and Christ address this? How might the love of God and the purpose of our lives to build relationships and communities based on that love give purpose to these people’s lives. If Jesus met a college student, what would he have to say to them????

Would he had said “Peter Pan why won’t you grow up and get your butt to church, so that you can understand God (the way we do)”

or Would he have met him where he was “Peter Pan, Can I play with you?”

PS remember the Harry Potter/Fantasy generation is graduating next, what is their fascination with fantasy about? how does that fit into spirituality? How does that work in this economy? *”For young adults, bad times don’t trump optimism. Among those ages 18 to 34, nearly nine-in-ten (88%) say they either have or earn enough money now or expect they will in the future” see for full survey http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2012/02/09/young-underemployed-and-optimistic/

(Just some light philosophical questions 🙂

Laughing Opportunities

– Lesson 1: Laugh at Self

When I make silly mistakes (particularly good ones are calling people I know and love by the wrong name, am clumsy or keep doing the same thing over and over) I like to think of these mistakes as the funny hiccups of being human, rather than the great faults that weigh me down.

-Lesson 2 Laugh at Life

When things are ironic: Ironic situations are great because the opposite of what you would expect actually gets to happen. What is the opposite of expectations than a surprise (Jesus saving us all by dying might be the greatest irony ever)

-Lesson 3 Laughing at Other’s Briliance

When things are so true, that its funny–you know when someone states something so well that it illuminates the entire situation

-Lesson 4: Every single time you get to see, talk to or otherwise interact with Childrn

Children have a gift for laughter, appreciate it!

-Lesson 5: When scripture calls for it

–you know when the Disciples seemed drunk in Luke? Last week we read Ephesians 5 and Paul basically comes out and says whatever you wear on your feet better be comfortable because the Gospel needs “real” shoes….there are a million places where the Bible is funny, find them!

Read http://katyandtheword.wordpress.com/2012/07/15/lol-pastor/ to find out more about my theology of laughter

Let’s Talk about Debt…

Debt is a big problem for us. Even if you don’t personally have debt (hooray) the United States as a country walks around with billions of dollars in debt every day.

What does this mean to be in debt? I’ve decided it means that you are empty–you have are literally worth less than nothing when you are in debt. And here we are in debt.

If you’ve ever studied the book of Ruth there is a weird legalistic part at the end. Instead of an immediate happily-ever-after between Ruth and Boaz (I love that fact that she proposes to him, talk about being ahead of the times!) It basically has to do with the fact that if you take on Elimelech’s indebted land, then you can make it fruitful again. However, if you have a son by Ruth you are then beholden to that inheritence instead of you own. I think thats it. Honestly, scholars disagree. They aren’t really sure what all was meant, and when Ruth was written down it was already ancient history because the whole sandal thing had to be explained.

Anyway, what everyone agrees on is

A. Elimelech’s land had laid empty/fallow for many years and the debt on it had to be redeemed in order for it be planted again

B. Ruth was part of the deal, and Ruth was so obviously (at least as far as they knew in Biblical times) barren, because she didn’t have any previous children.

So here you go, empty land, empty family.

In many ways we the mainline church have the same problem with empty land–have you seen our crumbling-on-the-sale-block-only-six-people-attend-here churches? (the irony being that non-religious people are always sad to see churches close, what is that about anyway???)

Ok but without getting too tangential, we as a church are empty.

Then there’s me, well us, well my entire generation. I grew up during the boom years, I was told that as long as I work hard and do right things will work out for me. Yet here we are (and I speak from my personal experiences and those of my friends) struggling with debt, purpose and fulfillment.

Opportunities are so scarce for my generation, and many people have had to put off marriage, children, settling down or even being able to start their career due to the economy. Every single person I know has had to live off of their parents in some way, shape or form post college.

Married, single, graduate, post-graduate, post-baccelerate, even those with children have had to get help, move in with their parents or follow their spouse across the country only to work a menial job hopefully sort of in their field.

So what is it people want when they come to church?

They want somewhere, where they are no longer empty. They want somewhere where they can be fulfilled. And (more importantly) they don’t want to feel judged. Us Milleniumers, Boomerangers (because we return home), us zero-ers or whatever you want to call us feel the weight of our own emptiness.

All our hard work seems to be for naught, much of what we are characterized by is our selfishness our need to be special our consumerism etc.

I can say (in total biased opinion) that this is not true. We don’t all think we are special or well-deserved, we just hope we might be a little bit, and our experience of adulthood (do you know my second week of undergrad was 9/11/2001–my entire adulthood has been shaped by our post 9/11 world, whereas my entire childhood was pre-9/11).

Do you know what Young People think of when they think of church? Antigay (i.e. judgemental and bigotted). I cannot tell you how much this hurts me. No wonder people think church has nothing to offer, no wonder it seems nonsensical and out of date. People don’t associate church with love and service, but rather selfishness and closemindedness. Plus the church is trying to figure out how to bring people to the church, when instead we should be figuring out how to bring church to people.

So here we are, empty. What does it mean when we forgive our debts? What does it mean when God Fulfills God’s promises?

What does God offer us that is different from the regular activity?

Here is a need, plain and simple, for many “young people” and most people in general. A need to find fulfillment and worth outside of money, a way to struggle with debt and yet not to feel empty, and definition that exists outside the bounds of the day-to-day slog. So what is fulfillment, what is forgiveness. How does debt figure into all of this, and should the church heed this desperate call of the empty young professionals today, or do we continue to figure out how to survive without worrying about these problems!!!

I feel a VERY strong call here to do something about this, what if the church stood in the way of debt, what if we showed how God fulfills us, what would happen then?

A Post about being Post…well Post-Everything

I am a graduate of Oberlin (yay Oberlin), and I loved (almost) every minute of it. But one of the things Obies love to do is take things apart. (Any other Obies feel free to chime in about this). In fact, sometimes we would move to “deconstructing” things so fast that I would feel like I didn’t even know how the thing was constructed in the first place (as an English Major my high school was highly lacking in Shakespeare, and I wanted to round my education out with him, however the only classes offered were about deconstructing what we supposedly had learned in high school).

Now as I get into ministry I hear a lot of talk about what this post-culture is going to do? Author Ross Douthat wrote an article about Can Liberal Christianity be saved? (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/opinion/sunday/douthat-can-liberal-christianity-be-saved.html) His conclusion was that” Today, by contrast, the leaders of the Episcopal Church and similar bodies often don’t seem to be offering anything you can’t already get from a purely secular liberalism. Which suggests that perhaps they should pause, amid their frantic renovations, and consider not just what they would change about historic Christianity, but what they would defend and offer uncompromisingly to the world.Absent such a reconsideration, their fate is nearly certain: they will change, and change, and die. (PS for a good response to this read http://www.patheos.com/blogs/livingaholyadventure/2012/07/can-liberal-christianity-be-saved-a-response-to-ross-douthat/)

However as I look at this world, I see that we are trying to construct a Post-Religious world (i.e. Spiritual not religious viewpoint that is so oft referenced). So the question comes, what does a post-church, post-christian, post-denominational (I am told by a good friend this is a move that the Bible belt is especially making) world. How do we post about our Post-world? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postchristianity)

Going forward I have to say that to me a post-religious world would look like the following

1) Where individuals ultimately choose to uphold each other as people, even when beliefs differ (perhaps what our Moderator and Vice Moderator were trying to model at GA before our Vice had to step down). Allowing Spiritual Practices to bring people together–>at least I think this is what some of the Spiritual people are trying to get at…

2) Where church isn’t made up of the “shoulds” of religion: church should have pews, church should include hymns, church should have Sunday School, but is instead moved by Holy Spirit to BE a faith community whenever and however that comes together….

3) Where the Faith of a group of people is ultimately used to empower those individuals who are powerless. What happens when powerless people come together? that’s right they become empowered If the church functions as a community builder grounded in the love of God, then we cannot help but support and empower each other to do new and wonderful things….

Places where this is overlooked today=basically everyone who is assigned an associate pastor (that is a rant yet to come)

The Young

Recently, these interactive boards have moved from the back of the broken pews to the corner of the sanctuary that we designated as a toddler area. (from a fellow pastor http://theresaecho.com/2011/04/18/interactive-toddler-boards/)

The Elderly

The College Age

The Young Adult (i.e. those in there 20s and 30s)

(you know those with young families who need babysitting or those who are still single and constantly on the move to find a job in the tough economy)

The Minorities: Racial, Ethnic and of course the poor

Thats right if your not a white middle class, middle aged American in many denominations your power is significantly less not only in society but in the church itself. Plus if you are not well-educated and don’t love words (say you learn by practice or are a visual learner) you probably won’t fit in well to the traditional Presbyterian service. (Does anyone else see something wrong with this?)

What would a service look like if it was regularly handed to these groups? What would faith look like if we went to where these people were?

You know what I think? I think that Ministry, True Ministry is to make FAITH ACCESSIBLE (that’s right, I put it in caps, that’s how serious I am). How do we make, not only our building, our worship and our activities accessible, How do we make our Faith Accessible. What does it mean that people identify Spirituality over religion or faith? I think its because Spirituality feels accessible. You can use what is comfortable to you, you can learn about it at your own pace, and your can connect with different people over different aspects of it even if you don’t agree completely with them (for the record I have both liberal and conservative friends).

So how can we do that for Faith?

I don’t know,

But let me remind you friends, that there is no resurrection without death!
Whether you consider this time the denominational pregnancy http://vimeo.com/25360983

or even if you think we are dying….http://treymorgan.net/17-signs-your-church-might-be-dying/

Either way, there is a rebirth a coming, the question is how will we access it?

(P.S. Giving Access is not the same as watering down faith, just so I’m clear on that!)

LOL Pastor

I have been an LOL person before it was cool, before LOL was conceived (almost) I was living it out. If you have ever been to one of my services, be warned, LOL will happen. In fact I am very likely to LOL at myself (and if you don’t know what LOL please google it immediately)

Now here is the interesting thing, my willingness to laugh has gotten me into a lot of trouble. (For why I laugh please read https://katyandtheword.wordpress.com/2012/05/16/pastor-with-a-sense-of-humor/)

a. People think I’m an airhead (I think this has to do with me being female). People assume because I laugh, I don’t care, when actually its the opposite. I laugh because I do care. I tend to take life very seriously. And when I say seriously, I don’t mean in a holier-than-thou or everything-is-sacred kind of way I mean the, life-is-God’s-gift, We-only-get-one-shot-at-it, so I pay attention way! I pay attention, so I don’t miss the happy moments. I pay attention because I have found that laughter is rare, and humor is a hard commodity to find. I pay attention because it is SO important to find Joy in life, and I don’t want any ounces of it that I can catch to slip through my fingers.

b. People think I devalue God, ministry, etc. by laughing. Last I check the Book of Order (the Presbyterian Constitution) says W-1.1000 i.e. the very, very, very first thing said about worship is “Christian worship joyfully ascribes all praise and honor, glory and power to the triune God.” We are supposed to have fun, I don’t know why we forget that (p.s. when is having fun not holy?)

Plus-we are currently striving under Openness to be more open to joy (bet you didn’t even know that). In F-1.0404, our first Openness statement is “a new openness to the sovereign activity of God in the Church and in the world, to a more radical obedience to Christ, and to a more joyous celebration in worship and work;”

What does this mean? It means the more obedience we find, the closer we are to God, the more joyous our celebration has become. My most recent example of this is the Farmer’s Market, which most of us find “fun.” This doesn’t mean we aren’t working, to the contrary, it means we are doing the right kind of work.

Which brings me to the third problem I often encounter.

3. People think I don’t work hard enough. I seriously think because I enjoy my job, people think I’m not “working.” I have tried to give more voice to the work I am doing, but I have found it difficult to do this without gogguzomen (grumbling, muttering, complaining in Greek–I love that word, doesn’t it sound just like what it means?). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbhnRuJBHLs Anyway, so if I don’t complain like the rest of the world, I must not be doing my job properly, but in actuality I am obsessed with my job. I am, in truth a workaholic, and it takes a lot for me to put down the reins and take the days/hours/minutes off that I need. However, it is hard for people to see this, because I love my job. I truly love my job. I love that when I do well I can laugh, I love that when I make mistakes I can laugh at myself, and I love how God turns everything upsidedown on me, so what I thought I was doing completely changes (rather like a King in a manger, Salvation on the cross, Great Epistles written by a tax collector), when these surprises come I like to laugh. It doesn’t mean I am taking things lightly. It just means that I am game for God’s jokes. I am ready to be surprised, I am ready to be happy, and I’m ready to find happiness, even in what seems like mistakes at the time. It doesn’t mean that I don’t internalize those mistakes, it doesn’t mean I don’t feel guilty, or work on them. What it means is that I am able to find the humor in things. I am able to understand that I don’t understand. I see the mystery in God’s face, and I laugh.

So I admit it. In the face of a faltering denomination tearing apart on issues of acceptance no less (talk about the ultimate irony!!!), despite a disappointing GA where the Youth/Younger people were ignored (even as people wondered how to get young people into the church), in a place where Vice Moderators are threatened and feel the need to step down (http://www.pcusa.org/news/2012/7/4/mccabe-resigns-vice-moderator-220th-ga/). Times seem to be tough. However, I refuse to give in. It is easier to pick-a-little and talk-a-little than to find the good. It is easier to dwell on the bad, and it is human to try to rip things apart rather than to laugh and move on together. So in light of all this….I’m going to continue to be a LOL pastor.

When to go to church (or) the Christian Struggle with Perfection

“Marilla, isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”

“I’ll warrant you’ll make plenty in it,” said Marilla. “I never saw your beat for making mistakes, Anne.”

“Yes, and well I know it,” admitted Anne mournfully. “But have you ever noticed one encouraging thing about me, Marilla? I never make the same mistake twice.”

“I don’t know as that’s much benefit when you’re always making new ones.”

“Oh, don’t you see, Marilla? There must be a limit to the mistakes one person can make, and when I get to the end of them, then I’ll be through with them. That’s a very comforting thought.”

I can still remember having a very “adult” conversation with my parents. It was one in which I must have been about 10, and my parents were telling me that I wasn’t perfect, and that I was going to have to live with myself. My response to this (because I knew no one could be perfect) was “I don’t want to be perfect, I just don’t want to make any mistakes!”

As Christians we have this ongoing struggle with perfection. On the one hand we want to be perfect, on the other part of being Christian (at least for me ) is admitting that we aren’t perfect. It is contending with our brokenness, and giving it up to God to be healed.

However, even though we know this about ourselves, I think that Christians often feel the mistaken need to pro-ject perfection. We want to look or at least seem perfect to everyone else. It’s as if our perfection reflects upon the perfection of God. If we aren’t perfect, then God isn’t perfect. If we don’t have all the answers, then God doesn’t have all the answers.

Instead of pointing towards God’s for answers, we rely upon ourselves or the “church” (i.e. that human conglomeration that we too often see as being the church) to be perfect/have the answers.

That’s where pastors mess up too right? Pastors feel that they have to be perfect, and instead of being open about their faith and their brokenness and talking about where they meet, Pastors try to be perfect, hide their mistakes/failings (which often leads to a whole nasty secret double life). Too often pastors skip their own confessions–of both faith and doubt, and then the quagmire’s come

So we are back to the perfection and mistakes. It is important to strive towards perfection, but to also rely on God on the source of all perfection. And even when I think that I know my way to God, it is important not to project that as the only way to God.

Too often, I think that Church is shown as a place for “perfect” people or (worse) people who think they are perfect. Too often Church is seen as the place where all of our answers are provided. After all, church is not the place to give standardized tests–God answers each of us personally and individually….

When, in actuality. God is a mystery, the church doesn’t know how everything works (Trinity, anyone? Or how about that Virgin Birth thing?) The church should be the A number 1 place to go when you AREN’T Perfect, it should be THE place to go when you have questions, and it should be the surrenduring of your mistakes and imperfections to God so that God is the one we are relying on to “project the right image” not humanity or the church in itself…..

Pastor with a Sense of Humor

It seems to me every church wants a pastor with a sense of humor….What does that mean? Do they want someone who is able laugh at themselves? Someone who can tell good jokes? Is it about entertainment? Good-naturedness? What is it about the sense of humor that makes it a prerequisite for being a minister of God.

As for me, I’m a person who makes it a point to laugh a lot. In fact, I have been told, on occasion, that my laughter can be overkill at times.

Personally I know that my ability, commitment to laughter is historic. Wayyyy back in Junior High, I got so depressed that I wasn’t even talking anymore (one particular pair of boys had decided to tell me to shut up every time I spoke). It was when I realized that I was afraid to laugh that I, well actually I laughed at myself. I realized the ridiculousness of the situation. What is the point of living if one is afraid to laugh…so from that moment on I trained myself. I acknowledged that I liked laughing, and that I found things funny (Particularly I am fond of ironic/wry humor read Patricia C. Wrede’s Dragon series..it was my first encounter with the fun art)….anyway I decided I would laugh every time I found something funny– and I also acknowledged to myself at that moment that I find a lot of things funny; I crack myself up on a regular basis, I had just been too afraid to laugh out loud (this was when LOL was just starting to be a part of internet-speak).

So, now I laugh, I laugh a lot. And its gone on for about 15yrs now so that its fairly uncontrollable.

However, I will never undervalue laughter. And it makes me think that Jesus probably laughed a lot too–not maliciously, but probably wryly, ironically, and wholeheartedly. I don’t know if he giggled, snickered, guffawed or just plain laugh, but I’m sure he had the right kind of laughter.

After all God invented the sense of humor….