Nebulous Prayers

And this morning God
All I can think about
is the passage

What forbids me from being baptized Philip?
asks the Ethiopian Eunuch
and I’m sure
Philip thinks
of all of the ramifications
that this person
is of nebulous rank
nebulous gender*
nebulous status
from another country

what authority does Philip have?
But Philip was sent by an angel
to say yes

And I feel like Philip
running alongside chariots
not knowing
what authority
we have

We are in a nebulous
time

knowing things are in flux
being asked hard questions

and I hope
we say
yes
as often
as we can

Because God knows
God is not preventing us
from loving
and including
each other

God’s yes
is strong
even when
we don’t know

And it’s ok
not to know

I don’t know God
that’s my prayer
I just don’t know
Amen

Feel Free to share/adapt/use with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

*Though to be clear that individual, the Ethiopian Eunuch, may have known exactly who they were and what their gender status was, the LBTQIA breadth and depth is beautiful in all of it’s multiplicities 

Throw Jesus Off the Cliff

Some days
God
I feel like
we are throwing
Jesus
off a cliff


I feel like
we hear the words of prophecy
that say
Make things easier
help those in need

It is amongst the cacophony
of “Masculinity” “Capitalism”
and “Christian Nationalism”


Do you hear it under the cries for
Nazareth First?

Jesus says: I am here for the immigrant widow,
the strangers,
the broken,
the disabled,
the weird,
the LGBTQIA,
and the strange

I feel like
when we hear the echo
of Jesus’s voice
Calling us
to do the hard work
of the gospel

that when Jesus walks with us
and says
you are correct
Christianity
is not
about success

We have to sit down
and say
what is life about then

and many people
throw Christianity
leadership
Jesus
or whatever out

Why do we do this worship
thing
If it isn’t about that anyway?

Sometimes I want to put out posters
Come to church
We do brokenness
really well

Come to worship
We are bad at community

Join us Sunday
We have had to practice
for 2,000 years and are
still getting power dynamics
wrong

Put your faith not in
princes
power
and principalities

But the dandelion
still bloomed
A perfect
Weed
spreading
Wishies
for children
to blow
in the yard

I treasure God
calling me
a dandelion
full of
seeds
and
Wishes

Image: A child, in a red coat, you happily cannot tell their gender, drawing butterfly and heart) out of a giant dandelion (like making a wish). Image sourced from https://img.freepik.com/premium-photo/child-blowing-dandelion-with-heart-star-sketch_587981-17165.jpg


Practice focusing on God
practice community
practice honesty
exercise everyday–not
because you will win any races
But because walking together
is the journey

And some days
I too want to throw Jesus off the cliff
Because it’s clear
I still don’t get it

And then Jesus floats back
and hugs me
Because
it never was about
perfection
in the first place

But the moments of
beauty
community
laughter
still count

Thank God
for that

Amen

Feel free to use/share Adapt with Credit to Pastor Katy Stenta aka KatyandtheWord

Hoping for Hope

Do you have hope? I asked one of the mental health patients on my ward, way back in Seminary as a I served my clinical unit.

No, she said, but I’m hoping for it.

God, you know how many times I have been in this position, hoping for hope.

I don’t have the hope yet. There are too many uncertainties, but I’m hoping for it.

Because God knows, God knows that we don’t have enough in place for us to be hopeful yet. God knows the illness, inequities and sheer number of existential crises that are going on right now.

But, you also know, God, that the Holy Spirit comes for us with radical changes in the crux of her very being.

So today, I will look for the Holy Spirit: for inspiration, encouragement, and yes even hope embodied.

Because even if I don’t have it, maybe I can at least recognize it along the way.

I’m just here, hoping for hope God.

So that is my prayer, that I can continue to hope for hope.

Amen

Image an original mixed art collage “Hope for Jan 20th” by Bea Stenta

Feel free to use or share with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta