Wrestling

God, you know I have a brain
that just will not stop

It wrestles with what could have been
what should have been

What if I did this differently?
Was it me, Lord? What if it was all my fault?
What if I lost my chance?

But then God picks me up
places me on my feet
and blesses me,
me and my imperfect body

Maybe you didn’t know God
I’ve got racing thoughts
and a mind that wrestles
And by the way
my hip now hurts…too

What is that?
You are blessing me
Any
Any
Any
way

Not, anyway
Just a blessing
A blessing for
the one
the one who cannot stop wrestling

A blessing for the one who is all too aware
of their awkwardness
their imperfections
Their past

You are blessed
(and can bless others)
God whispers

and then sits, and watches the sunrise with me

So that I know that
even as my brain races
and still cannot comprehend

God sits with me
in my wrestling
So I no longer feel
Alone

Feel Free to use/adapt/share with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta “Katyandtheword.com”

If you appreciate my work please consider giving to my FINAL year of Doctoral Work in Ministry in Creative Writing. I am writing a book of Poem Prayers and Essays to be Published for my dissertation.


September 24th Jacob Wrestles God

Finding God: Blessings and Belonging
Jacob Wrestles God
Genesis 32:[9-13], 22-30
Mark 14:32-36

Wrestling God: Topical Prayer/Poem

If you appreciate my work please consider giving to my FINAL year of Doctoral Work in Ministry in Creative Writing. I am writing a book of Poem Prayers and Essays to be Published for my dissertation.

Call to Worship
God you are with us
You give us the space to wrestle
God you find us when we are worried and alone
Bless us God today

Call to Worship
God of blessings
Bless us
Wrestling, Hoping, Lonesome or Hurting, You bless us
Let us walk away blessed today

Call to Confession: Whatever we are wrestling with, God can handle, Let us trust that God can wrestle with it too today.

Prayer of Confession: God, we feel like Jacob, needing to wrestle some more. The struggle, as they say, is real. We are weighed down with our past mistakes. We feel the pain of loneliness. We feel unworthy of the blessings you have awaiting us, and we have to wrestle first. Forgive us, teach us that we are beloved, and that you are ready to call us, by our chosen names, and bless us. In Jesus’s name we pray. (Silent Confession) Amen.

Assurance of Pardon: Hear the Good News, Blessings are not Pie, they flow from the cup overflowing grace of Jesus Christ, so we know the truth: In Jesus Christ we are forgiven, Amen.

Prayer of the Day/Dedication: God we know that the struggle is real. We are thankful that Jesus sees and understands when we limp along. Bolster us as we walk into the world today we pray. Amen.

If you appreciate my work please consider giving to my FINAL year of Doctoral Work in Ministry in Creative Writing. I am writing a book of Poem Prayers and Essays to be Published for my dissertation.

Finding God: Garden of Eden

Sept 10th NL201
Garden of Eden
Genesis 2:4b-25
Mark 1:16-20
Mark 10:6-8

Call to Worship:
God created us in companionship
God created us to be good
Come let us worship God the Creator
Come let us be in communion with God

Call to worship
We are God-breathed beings
It is good to dwell with God
We are called to be with God
Come let us spend some time with God together

Call to Confession: God calls us all to unburden everything to God, come let us give ourselves to the Divine.

Prayer of Confession: God, we come to you imperfect, but still your creation. When we feel alone or incomplete, walk with us we pray. Remind us that you still are there, calling our name, creating connections and companionship for us–walking with us wherever we go. We pray this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Assurance of Pardon: Hear the Good News, Jesus calls us to him again and again, therefore we know the truth. In Jesus Christ we are forgiven.

Prayer of the Day/Dedication: God, you created us, you breathed life into us, you have walked with us. Continue to remind us of your love, continue to remind us how you call us by name, each and every day as we walk into the world we pray. Amen.

Hymns: In the Garden, God Who Stretched the Spangled Heavens, God Created Heaven and Earth, I Sing the Mighty Power of God

“Where true inner freedom is, there God is. And where God is, there we want to be…When we meet a truly free person there are no expectations, only an invitation to reach into ourselves and discover there our own freedom.”

Henri Nouwen

We have been practicing breath prayer of “Freedom, in Christ” some thoughts for that…

hesychasm in tradition has been the process of retiring inward by ceasing to register the senses, in order to achieve an experiential knowledge of God. It is often repeated continually as a part of personal ascetic practice, its use being an integral part of the eremitic (hermit) tradition of prayer known as Hesychasm (Ancient Greek: ἡσυχάζω, hesychazo, “to keep stillness” stillness, rest, quiet, silence). The prayer is particularly esteemed by the spiritual fathers of this tradition (see Philokalia) as a method of opening up the heart (kardia) and bringing about the Prayer of the Heart (Καρδιακή Προσευχή). The Prayer of The Heart is considered to be the Unceasing Prayer that the apostle Paul advocates in the New Testament. St. Theophan the Recluse regarded the Jesus Prayer stronger than all other prayers by virtue of the power of the Holy Name of Jesus.

Where is God???

 

In the time of King Herod, after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, wise men from the East came to Jerusalem, asking, “Where is the child who has been born king of the Jews? For we observed his star at its rising, and have come to pay him homage.” When King Herod heard this, he was frightened, and all Jerusalem with him; and calling together all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Messiah was to be born. They told him, “In Bethlehem of Judea; for so it has been written by the prophet: ‘And you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for from you shall come a ruler who is to shepherd my people Israel.’” Then Herod secretly called for the wise men and learned from them the exact time when the star had appeared. Then he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, “Go and search diligently for the child; and when you have found him, bring me word so that I may also go and pay him homage.”

When they had heard the king, they set out; and there, ahead of them, went the star that they had seen at its rising, until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw that the star had stopped, they were overwhelmed with joy. On entering the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother; and they knelt down and paid him homage. Then, opening their treasure chests, they offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they left for their own country by another road. –Matthew 2:1-12

 

When the wise men asked Herod where God was, they were not asking an idle or philosophical question. Instead they believed that Christ was present on earth, and were actively seeking his location. Today when we ask where God is, it tends to be a more philosophical question. Where is God when we feel alone? Where is Christ when tragedies happen to children in Connecticut? Where is the Holy Spirit when the catholic (world) church is so divided, and seems to split at the drop of a hat?

 

First, I don’t have an easy answer to these hard questions. What I do know is that God has a plan, and God’s plan does not include death, tragedy or violence. However, everything is not as good as God is, and God’s plan is not the one we hold primary in our lives (unfortunately). Secondly, if you are angry at God, then do so! God knows what to do with your anger. Did you know that 2/3rds of the Psalms are about being angry at God! (Note how we often assume that the anger is God’s–God is angry at us, or sinners, or other random people–maybe the problem is that we are angry with God and we cannot admit it…(for more on this watch the movie “Saved” see where one girl clocks another with the Bible…)

(Note the girl’s response is the hold the Bible and say “this is not a weapon” i.e. real love)

Life is unfair, and God created us, God allowed us to make choices and sometimes that hurts…

On the other hand, the only way to avoid hurt, is to stop loving, to stop caring about the people in our lives, the wars that don’t effect us and the children we didn’t get a chance to know. Grief, anger, sorrow, despondency, depression, emptiness—all of these feelings legitimize those relationships in our lives. They are real feelings, because the people we mourn were real people, and whether we are mourning the loss of someone through a death or a falling out, those relationships have meaning in our lives, and it is our privilege to feel complex and important feelings about the relationships.

 

Finally, it is important to remember that anger is energy, and the best thing to do with that anger is to channel it into something. If we (instead of debating guns for instance) focused all the anger and grief that we have from Sandy Hook into helping other children in unfortunate circumstances—those who suffer violence in their neighborhood everyday, or those who are stuck in the foster system with no way our, or those who live in poverty. Think of what we can do. Do you think Martin Luther was angry? How about Martin Luther King Jr. or Elizabeth Cady Stanton? They used those intense feelings appropriately. And our job is the same…to get off the tv, the internet and the office conversations. Remember Fred Rogers aka Mr. Rogers said that whenever a tragedy occurred on the news, his mother would remind him to not just look at the tragedy, but to note the helpers.

 

How many helpers are there in the world as compared to the sick and abusive? And can we be those helpers to. Where is God in all this? Part of the answer is that he is with us, showing us how to help.!!!!!!!!!!