God of Time

God
Our timeline
Is totally broken
As lies crackle
And cowardice is unearthed

Jesus is this
How Jerusalem was?
When Powers & Principalities
Were vying for power?

God how do you
Make Kairos out of Chronos
How do you
Work with hopelessness?

God who keeps track
As the timeline breaks us
Break into our time
Our hearts
Our being

So that we
Are no longer weighed down
By this news cycle

Whisper it
Like the Secret it is
Because we are too weary
And Bleary
To recognize it now.

Thank you Timeless God
Amen

Feel free to use/adapt/share with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

Gun Violence Prevention Prayers

This is the start of my collected resource. Because I need to be real about this.

Also more than “Thoughts & Prayers”

All prayers can be used/adapted/shared with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

Wrong Turns (About getting lost and Gun Violence that resulted, and Rainbows)

Hosanna, A Dangerous Prayer

No Breath Prayer In the Pit: https://katyandtheword.com/2022/05/26/13962/

Call Me Mara, A Bitter Prayer: https://katyandtheword.com/2022/05/25/mara-a-bitter-prayer/

14 no 19 no 21, https://katyandtheword.com/2022/05/24/14-a-prayer/

Truth: https://katyandtheword.com/2022/05/16/truth-a-prayer/

Imprecation: https://katyandtheword.com/2022/05/15/imprecation/

Do You Reject Evil? https://katyandtheword.com/2022/05/15/do-you-reject-evil/

Forgiving God: https://katyandtheword.com/2022/03/19/forgiving-god-a-prayer/

Empty-handed Prayer: https://katyandtheword.com/2022/02/25/empty-handed-prayer/

I’m so mad: https://katyandtheword.com/2021/04/16/im-mad-and-thats-not-going-to-change-prayer/

Timeless God: https://katyandtheword.com/2022/05/28/god-of-time/

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Mara: A Bitter Prayer

Call me Mara Today, God
Because I am bitter,
and the back of my throat aches
from too much crying,
as the grief hits me again, and again

And the place I call home
is a nation that likes to “protects” the unborn,
but locks up immigrants & Black and Brown kids, cannot feed thousands of children,
Corners the the market on formula and then doesn’t regulate it properly,
stops the payments for vulnerable families, destroys queer families,
and totally reopens the nation before any babies can receive vaccinations.

Call me Mara, God, Embittered
that people want “young families” don’t come to church
in a culture where parents, especially mothers, are expected to do every single thing on their own, and are judged for every imperfection.

Call me Mara, God,
For I am broken;
When there is a market for bulletproof backpacks,
when the news is about the latest, and which of the massive shootings–
where domestic violence and white supremacy is acceptable
to the degree that no warning signals are put out for terrorism
and armoring up, Lord God Almighty, Seems to be the only way us humans seem to be able to respond to any kind of violence.

Call me Mara, God.
Because despite voting, and letters, and marching and the sobs of countless families…

not

one

thing

has changed.

Call
us Mara
God.

Because, these too are our Children
And tomorrow, my throat will still be sore from crying
and I will still taste the bitterness of tears–that’s what home tastes like now.

I bet you want to be called Mara too, God.
Because they are your children too!

Selah! Mara, Selah!

Amen.

Feel free to use/adapt/share with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

14, A Prayer

14 18 20 21
God?!!???
When will the
USA
countdown
Enough
Wisps of childhood
Enough gasps of Black People
Enough cries of Brown People
Enough endangerment of Whot people
For thoughts to turn into flipped tables?
And prayers to turn into peace beyond understanding?
How Long Lord?
I’m tired of this prayer, prayed on behalf of those who no longer pray
Melt our hearts God, move us beyond what we are—to doing what we need to do to bring peace.
No more thoughts and prayers—policies ans protests. Times 14. 18 20 21
Screw it. Times 14,000 18,000 20,000 21,000
In the name of Jesus Christ. We pray.

Amen

Feel free to use/adapt/share with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

Next Church

I’ve now been going to Next Church so long that I don’t really know if it’s been 8 or 9 or however many years.

It hasn’t been the whole time, but a couple years in I started going to the movement NextChurch and saw it become more established.

I have gone every year since, including online.

I value and love Next Church. I think its the beginning of the work the Church needs to be doing.

Reasons why I keep coming: It is a place to feel excited about church, it is a place where I was seen and affirmed, it is a place that is doing some of the cutting edge work of church and trying to bring it to the attention of larger church, it had actual workshops that might work for a teeny-tiny church that wasn’t necessarily in a thriving metropolis (unlike most of the conferences for churches),

I go because it positioned itself clearly as a place of hope for the church.

It was a place where pronouns are the norm and gay marriage was announced as completely passed, and we partied like the future church we wanted to be, some of in a way we could never party at home.

it also continually called me on my whiteness, and had great worship and was always super-super contextual in such a way that every single speaker opened with; I wasn’t going to say yes to doing this, and then I heard your topic….

For a lot of us as pastors, Next Church was way more of our home church than our Presbytery ever would be. Our Presbyteries which would not listen, let us lead, much less imagine a church different than what it is.

Then some of the leadership became busy, becoming a part of the greater work of the church, the more established Next Church became, the more in demand the leadership became–in their Presbyteries, other boards, GA, etc. Stretching their gifts in what was no doubt creative ways; perhaps giving them hope that all of these entities will also become more hopeful and progressive in their policies, polities, etc.

In the meantime, Next Church discovered itself not to live up to its ideals. Places where Next Church struggles: It is, we aren’t the anti-racist organizations we want to be. (It’s still primarily a white woman’s conference), It’s not very intersectional: poverty, disabilities, etc tend to be shunted to the side, it became the mascot of the denomination: a place for the PCUSA to point to all the work that is continually in committee but not actually getting done. So much for our leadership hitting the mainstream.

Then Covid came–and all the pastors who have been shouldering a lot of the transformative work of the church, became super exhausted. I heard that the Festival of Homiletics was about trauma, turns out many many pastors are traumatized by the church, welp I’m not surprised. If this is true for those of us white pastors in the church; how much more is this true for our marginal siblings.

Many, many pastors who are in the middle of their careers are quitting ministry altogether. I’ve talked to something around 40 pastors in the PCUSA for whom that is true.

Most of my colleagues did not even start ministry, because I graduated during the recession, more quit than usual. There are basically no ministers my age (comparatively).

I attended Next Church this year, which was still beautiful, affirming and imperfectly important, I can tell the leaders are exhausted. And I frankly, don’t know who they would hand it off to even if they had the energy to which lets be clear it makes perfect sense that they don’t at this point.

Because despite my phone calls, conversations and letters to anyone who would listen; I have found little to no direct and immediate support for exhausted pastors.

And all I can think is the same thing I have been telling every single mid-level pastor I have met who has been telling me that they have been leaving ministry: I value all the work you have done, and if that work needs to end, it needs to end. Be blessed, and thank you for all that you have done.

I am angry that most of the things Next Church wanted to do became ultimately sidelined. The Antiracist work is even more incomplete than anyone might wish, but then again there is little to no back up “at home” if Next Church is at the starting line, most of our churches and Presbytery and GA are not even at the starting line.

I am sad that all the things people at Next Church want: Antiracist statements and work, Family Leave, Oil Divestment, Broader support of LGBTQIA people, Reparations for POC churches, Revolution in the Seminary Systems, Better Systems for the Ordinations tests especially for those with disabilities, equity in pay for ministers across the board, reform in the pensions system, a broad look in healthcare for non-ordained staff, and on and on has been ignored by the larger church or tabled or relegated to a committee at GA.

It feels as if as long as Next Church was doings some of the work, the greater church could do less of it.

I’ve had some people ask me, what’s up with Next Church. That’s my overall take on it. I’m not on the board, so I’m sure there is way more no going on than what I perceive but this is my own opinion which belongs to me. I know its not perfect, but it definitely fed me, and as its status is in question, because everyone is exhausted, I ask again the question I have been raising

as Presbyteries are held together with string and duct tape

and Pensions Board has only upped relief marginally, when deep Sabbath is urgently needed yesterday

And the Foundation continues the bulk of their offerings are for mid to large and metropolitan not to mention white perspectives

And I see the few Pastors around my age burn out, more and more.

I guess I’m offering the question back to the church in general.

What’s up with Next?

Era, A Prayer

It’s the end of an era

God, you know it and I know it.

Doors are slamming shut;

some of us have had our fingers pinched in them,

some of us have breathed sighs of relief at the ensuing silence afterwards.

It’s the end of an era–

We have not entered post-pandemic, post-capitalism, or post-racism

sadly

but we are post-something.

It’s the end of the world as we knew it,

Apocalypses continue to unfold, and Some of us are wringing our hands,

while other of us breathe in the fresh air

while others of us get to work (finally).

Jesus is this how it felt in the world of Acts?

With the politics all whirly, and no one knowing who they belonged to anymore?

And the things being torn down seemingly at random?

Is this why people fought over whether they belonged to Paul or Apollos

or Trump or Biden?

How was the church built in that era of chaos?

How did the the Lydias and Tabithas do it?

As people ask why things are different,

I laugh

Because you know God, that mostly

things are the same,

People have just finally noticed.

God walk with us as we enter this new era–

you’ve been with us so far.

Amen.

Feel Free to use/adapt/Share with Credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

Crummy Confession

Loving God

We confess that sometimes we aren’t sure how to relax, that sometimes it feels like a burden, or this thing we have to figure out. 

Or a reward that I can only receive after we have completed after we have done every single thing on the list. 

I also confess that when we feel crummy, and are given crumbs of Sabbath—that doesn’t help.

That too often Sabbath looks like this piecemeal, cobbled together, misshapenned monstrosity that happened throughout the day, or week, and so we aren’t sure if its good enough or counts, as if someone is grading the Sabbath—

when I know, deep, in my bones, 

that the abundance of Sabbath your promise is supposed to be a promise, not threat

and that you would never grade my rest-keeping

and that the point is to know my belovedness, and to relish myself, not to take a million bubble-baths or try to fix myself

You know, God, how I don’t give space for others to be free either–because I have all of this baggage, and its just, not good!

I confess I need all the help this Sabbath thing!

Forgive me God, For thinking that this Sabbath thing is all up to me.

Help us to find Sabbath

in better systems

in safer communities

and in ourselves we pray.

Amen.

Feel Free to Use/Adapt/Share with Credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

Truth: A Prayer

Guns don’t spell peace

Just like White Supremacy can’t define Jesus

And Transphobia doesn’t protect families–but breaks them

And making abortion illegal, never, ever prevents abortions

God,

How can we humans be so confused

as to take the truth and completely

misconstrue it

so that somehow we make Christianity about power

and Church about politics?

Sometimes I think about this and I think,

only us humans are silly enough to mess up

messages as simple and easy as:

Love and serve one another

or the last shall be first.

Yet here we are God,

Tangling Truths around our Tongues,

Tricking ourselves, with comforting lies.

Ignoring the whisper of the Holy Spirit that says:

Fear Not.

Nothing can separate you from the Love of God

You can never be replaced.*

I hope you have some truth for us today, God.

Some clear, cool and collected truth,

gathered into the waters of baptism–

spilling into our hearts and souls.

Because we need your truth.

Help us to tell ourselves the truth

I pray.

We pray.

Amen. Feel Free to share/adapt/use with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta

*replacement theory is a dangerous white supremacist theory that white Americans are being replaced usually by Jewish and Black People and it promotes violence and terrorism against said “replacement” races and religions. It is dehumanizing, bigoted, wrong and as stated a terrorist training ground. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/15/us/replacement-theory-shooting-tucker-carlson.html