Maybe I’ll never take in
the shock of a country betraying my trust over and over again
first with 9/11
then the war in Iraq,
then college debt and a recession–
then motherhood unsupported, votes that don’t count,
adulthood mocked as I forced my way into the world hustling all of my hobbies into jobs
Being told that I didn’t care enough to make it in the world, and that’s why
I couldn’t have an emergency found, save for retirement, have security of house, babysitting and daycare for my children, living paycheck to paycheck,
after years of climate change, shaky policies and politics, no family leave, switching to paper straws, buying thrift clothes, and being told every single decision is my responsibility and fault
–the millennials are clearly to blame for it all
And knowing my family is ironically more financially secure now than we ever been and yet
now we are betrayed again,
And the world is on fire with pandemics and justice broken with Jan 6 and the Constitution being brought to its knees with two weeks of stacked “interpretations”
Maybe its ok that I cannot take in that the Supreme Court Justices have betrayed me yet again
That the greater church has no energy anymore
That there is no institution to fall back upon–
There is only faith and friends, and another letter to you God,
to say hey God,
I’m still here.
I still love you,
and I still believe that justice is worth it.
Babies need to be wanted,
Miranda rights are important,
Prayer should be taught by professionals
Guns are stupid, dangerous and don’t have rights
Schooling is more important than what we give it, and segregated schools through religiosity is trash
and I think we humans can do better than what we are doing now–
and I do know that sometimes there is no resurrection without death.
And I’m ok with that.
Help me God. Because trust is broken,
but I’m still here, and so are you.
Help me face today, and tomorrow,
because the path is not clear,
and we need to learn how to work together
with the people who know how to do the work already.
Feel feel to share/adapt/use with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta