Did you wake up in the middle of the night Feeling like you were about to fall? From some inexplicable nightmare?
When you got through a harrowing encounter with the officially officials—you know the ones that had been in the building Did you come home with a headache?
Did you practice breathing techniques, and peaceable responses, and politeness and smiles like most of the women, disabled people and marginalized around you… All of us knowing—this is how we make it
Did you preach the Good News as a survival technique Not as a toxic positivity to push on people
But the Bare Bones to give those hungry for scraps of answers of
“Why am I Here? And “Does this even Matter?” And “How Do I face tomorrow?”
And did you sit and look at the stars—Christ—and evaluate your day, and try to comfort yourself: With the little things that went right; and the good things you saw, and the big picture you were working towards.
Did you ache with the work of it all Jesus? And roll your jaw, and take a deep breath to relax your shoulders, before you faced another fully human day?
Thank you for being human with us Jesus.
Amen.
Feel free to use/adapt/share with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta
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Holy Spirit, we need to talk about this whole humanity thing.
Because I am plumb worn out from having existential crises about the human race!
Between pandemics, systematic oppression, the continual pursuit of power and principalities that screw the costs, and the whole the earth itself seems to be crying out from abuse thing, my head is spinning.
This is not to mention poverty, homelessness, neglect of those who are addicted, and the deaths of black and brown children, and I am reminded once again of the orphans which (again) have been created and abused by my very own government, oh and there’s a war in Armenia where my Aunt is located– I find I am bone weary.
Can these bones walk?
Holy Spirit, do you sometimes give humanity the side eye when you appear in bird form?
Because I trust in you. I trust God, and I love Jesus. This is not about that.
But I am dried out, cracked at the core when I think of humanity as whole.
I have found amazing human beings on earth. In the Singular I know individuals: gracious and forgiving ones, selfless and devoted ones, tireless and hard working ones. I love many-a-person…
But when it comes to humanity…
Well let’s just say I understand that whole flood thing better now.
Sometimes I wish I could do a reboot too, but we both know that doesn’t fix the inherent issues with being human
And so, here I am, stuck in an existential crises.
Why do we exist?
And, maybe the real existential question is this: if I know we can do better, how are we not doing better? Why?
Ok, but we have to try.
We have to show that those who are poor, or homeless are beloved.
We have to constantly interrupt racism and oppression, and plots to kill people or the neglect that lets people die. We have to stand up to power.
God, I remember a story in the Bible when someone asked Jesus a very political question about marriage, he basically said “that’s a human thing, God doesn’t care about such things”
Immediately this was followed up with a question about what does God care about, and Jesus responds with a simple “Love God, and Love each other” summary of, well, basically everything!
As always, when I have trouble loving other humans, I reground myself in loving you God.
Because I don’t know how to love humanity, and I don’t know why we are here.
So I guess I’m going to have to love you, and trust that you are continually helping us to course correct so that all things work together for good.
But right now, I’m going to snuggle under the covers, and tell myself that its ok that I don’t know how to process humanity’s existential crisis right now, because that’s not my job.
katyandtheword 