Tantrum Prayer

As my child is screaming Lord, I say a quick prayer.

Because really, I want to scream too.

On this day when we found a way to safely see our friends, we got lost.

And we are almost there, but the child is screaming, it’s pitch black out, and the roads are unfamiliar. And the other one is whimpering too.

And I’m trying to drive.

The third time we make a U-Turn and finally get through to our friends…

we can not longer hear the directions she is trying to tell, because the screaming is too loud, or the road is too dark, or the pandemic is too much.

God, this is my prayer to you, because in my heart I’m screaming. I’m screaming, lost in the dark.

And so we turn around, and go home–all of us crying, some of us out loud.

And truthfully, like a child I just want to scream,

until you pick me up,

put me to bed,

And Let me start again in the morning.

I am grateful that you are a God I can tantrum to, You are a place where I can admit that I am lost, you are the parent whom I can admit that I’m not hearing or seeing or processing well anymore.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

men.

The Mysterious Road From Edvard Munch's The Scream - DailyArtMagazine.com - Art History Stories
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Feel free to use/adapt with credit to Pastor Katy 

More Pandemic Prayers and Mundane Prayer to Survive the Day to Day

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Pour Out Your Soul cw: pregnancy & birth

God, I confess that sometimes I don’t have it in me to pour myself out in front of you.

It’s hard to find the time, or the place or the emotiona energy.

And I confess, God, that I don’t want this to be intergral to the advent season. Why must I empty myself before you?

How can I empty myself for your?

But I know, that before I breathed my first tremolous breath, before I screamed out my first cry, before I even was formed in the womb–you made room for me.

You emptied yourself enough to make room for every single person in the world.

Mary made room for God, she cleared a space to become a magnification of God’s work in the world. A beautifully, justice screaming, baby carrying, patriarchy challenging woman who fully embraced it all and poured herself out to make room for the magnificat dreams.

So as I try to pour out, and I can’t, or I won’t or I only half-ass it….If I find myself stuttering over justice, or acquiencing to hetereo-normative white colonial Cis-Patriacrchies as I tumble through advent to do lists and forget what it was I was supposed to do next…

I pray that in those moments you will hold space for me. I pray that you will send dark and beautiful time and space and room upon the wings of the Holy Spirit.

I pray that it will sing to my soul, and sound through my body, and tremor in the stillness before me.

I’m praying for holding space, and pouring out, and stillness all to find pockets within the mess (after all we women love pockets).

I am praying for all of this, because I am convicted and convinced that this is how Christmas will come.

Alleluia to the stillness and the space-i-ness and the dark.

Alleluia for the mess to, for you were born in the mess of things, so alleluia anyway.

Amen.

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