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You should see my kitchen table. That’s right. I’m saying you *should be able* to see my kitchen table — yet it is buried beneath piles of clutter that unashamedly proclaim the reality of my preoccupied life.

Unpaid bills, school forms requiring my signature, ingredients for this week’s dessert baking, adventures, half-eaten lollipops, broken crayons, Cheerios, crushed cheezits, AA batteries & LEGO pieces aplenty decorate my kitchen table. There are muddy sneakers by the door with muddy footprints on the floor [that I just swept last night] — evidence of the boys’ muddy-puddle-jumping after preschool this morning.

AND I am a multi-tasking, type-A, to-do-list-lovin’ Mama who highly values being “productive.” I’ll quickly confess I love that oh-so-fleeting feeling of satisfaction —triumphantly crossing an item off that ever-pressing, never-ending to-do-list.

Sigh. How wonderful. Truly. I love those moments.

And yet — Motherhood — being a mama “in-the-trenches” — often feels like…

“A Love We Can Grasp”

**Originally preached at the Jazz service at Fourth Presbyterian Church, Chicago on March 22, 2015. This sermon is part of a Lenten series called “Were You There?” which follows particular characters that Jesus encounters on his way to the cross. 

Matthew 26: 14-16, 47-50

Then one of the twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, ‘What will you give me if I betray him to you?’ They paid him thirty pieces of silver. And from that moment he began to look for an opportunity to betray him.

While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the twelve, arrived; with him was a large crowd with swords and clubs, from the chief priests and the elders of the people. Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, ‘The one I will kiss is the man; arrest him.’ At once…

Have you ever found things bogging you down?

Sometimes, as a pastor of a small church, I find myself amazed by how much of my job is paperwork. Especially since most of it is created by myself. ACK! There’s the bulletin, my sermon outline (which I hate doing, because then I feel tied down to it), contracts (we also are landlords), meeting agenda, worker checklists, rules, regs, letters to tenants, letters to congregation members, newsletters, applications/registrations for all the junk I need to be at, grants, fundings, thankyous, checklists, calendars for myself, the congregation and the building use etc. Sometimes I think the only thing I don’t write down on a regular basis are my extemporaneous prayers.

In an age of holding people accountable, and in a denomination where if its not written down it isn’t real (otherwise known as Presbyterian), I find that needing to do millions of paperworks…