Wrestling

God, you know I have a brain
that just will not stop

It wrestles with what could have been
what should have been

What if I did this differently?
Was it me, Lord? What if it was all my fault?
What if I lost my chance?

But then God picks me up
places me on my feet
and blesses me,
me and my imperfect body

Maybe you didn’t know God
I’ve got racing thoughts
and a mind that wrestles
And by the way
my hip now hurts…too

What is that?
You are blessing me
Any
Any
Any
way

Not, anyway
Just a blessing
A blessing for
the one
the one who cannot stop wrestling

A blessing for the one who is all too aware
of their awkwardness
their imperfections
Their past

You are blessed
(and can bless others)
God whispers

and then sits, and watches the sunrise with me

So that I know that
even as my brain races
and still cannot comprehend

God sits with me
in my wrestling
So I no longer feel
Alone

Feel Free to use/adapt/share with credit to Pastor Katy Stenta “Katyandtheword.com”

If you appreciate my work please consider giving to my FINAL year of Doctoral Work in Ministry in Creative Writing. I am writing a book of Poem Prayers and Essays to be Published for my dissertation.


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Author: katyandtheword

Pastor Katy has enjoyed ministry at New Covenant since 2010, where the church has solidified its community focus. She now works at Capital CFO plus as the Non Profit Director. All opinions expressed on this blog are her own and do not reflect those of Capital CFO plus. Prior to that she studied both Theology and Christian Formation at Princeton Theological Seminary. She also served as an Assistant Chaplain at Trenton Psychiatric Hospital and as the Christian Educational Coordinator at Bethany Presbyterian at Bloomfield, NJ. She is an writer and is published in Enfleshed, Sermonsuite, Presbyterian's today and Outlook. She writes prayers, liturgy, poems and public theology and is pursuing her doctorate in ministry in Creative Write and Pittsburgh Theological Seminary. She enjoys working within and connecting to the community, is known to laugh a lot during service, and tells as many stories as possible. Pastor Katy loves reading Science Fiction and Fantasy, theater, arts and crafts, music, playing with children and sunshine, and continues to try to be as (w)holistically Christian as possible. "Publisher after publisher turned down A Wrinkle in Time," L'Engle wrote, "because it deals overtly with the problem of evil, and it was too difficult for children, and was it a children's or an adult's book, anyhow?" The next year it won the prestigious John Newbery Medal. Tolkien states in the foreword to The Lord of the Rings that he disliked allegories and that the story was not one.[66] Instead he preferred what he termed "applicability", the freedom of the reader to interpret the work in the light of his or her own life and times.

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